There’s one very small but powerful word that has the power to transform your life. It’s such a simple word. It’s one that I use with my coaching clients all the time. It’s one I ask myself all the time and I encourage others to use with everything they do. It can bring awareness, clarity, motivation and strength. If self-awareness is the key to transformation, this is the word that can bring you to that level of self-awareness.
What is this word that is so small and simple, yet so powerful? That word is WHY? You probably used to use it all the time when you were a child. Every time you asked a question and your parents or teachers gave you an answer, you probably then asked why? You may have driven them crazy by constantly asking why. Perhaps your children do the same to you.
The reason it’s such an important word is that we get so busy, and pulled in so many directions that we end up just going along with things just because they’re in front of us. But when you connect with your why, then you’ll not only start to have a better and deeper understanding of yourself, you will also have a much clearer idea of what things you want to include in your life and what you want to release.
Here are some examples:
Goals or Intentions
Let’s say you have a specific life or business goal or intention. That’s great, we should all know what we want, but do you really know why you want it? If you say your intention is to have 10 new clients by the end of the year, ask yourself why you want that specifically. Once you have your answer, then go deeper – ask yourself why is that important to you. Once you have your answer to that you may even want to go deeper and ask why again.
When you do this, one of two things might happen. The first thing that could happen is that you may discover that this specific goal or intention is not what you really want at all. It may simply be what you thought you wanted. That’s important to know because you don’t want to put your energy into pursuing something that you don’t really want.
If you do find that it really is what you want, then you will be much more motivated and energized about it. By connecting to your why, you will also connect with the things you need in order to make it happen. You will be so focused that you won’t allow anything to distract you.
What things are you surrounding yourself with? Do you want to get organized but don’t have the time, energy or motivation? Are you having a hard time letting go of things? Once again, this is where the word ‘why’ can come in very useful.
Let’s say you have an item that you don’t particularly like or need or use, yet you find that you’re reluctant to let it go. Ask yourself why you are keeping it and be honest with your answer. Your answer might be “because a family member gave it to me,” or “because I spent a lot of money on it.” Again, whatever the answer is, you can go a little deeper. Why is that important? The answer may be “because I would feel guilty if I let it go,” or “I might be able to sell it and make money one day,” or something like that.
Again, once you know exactly why you are keeping something or are reluctant to let it go, you can then decide if that’s a good enough reason. You may find that it’s not a good enough reason and you’re able to let it go. Or, you may feel that you still want to keep it – but at least you’ll be doing so with awareness. You’ll know what the energy is behind it.
You can use this simple questioning technique for any situation, for example, “why did I attract this particular situation into my life? What am I to learn from it?” You can also use it when someone asks you to do something and you’re tempted to say yes even though you might want to say no – “why am I afraid to say no to this person?”
You can use this simple word in all areas of your life and it will help you to understand yourself and your life at a much deeper level. It will bring increased self-awareness. When you know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, or what you’re keeping and why you’re keeping it, then you’ll soon start to know where you’re putting your energy and what kind of energy you’re working with (is it coming from fear or from love?) This helps you to start putting your energy towards what’s really important.
So I invite you to give it a try. Start asking yourself why a little more often and see what insights you uncover for yourself.Tweet
A week or two ago I would have said that I didn’t think I was in denial about anything. After all, I actively look for the lessons in every situation and I try to be very aware of what’s going on with me. However, I’m realizing now that I’ve been in quite a bit of denial and discovering that has been quite a shock to the system. It’s a great example of just how things can be hidden from us – until we’re given the opportunity to see them. So how have I been in denial? Let me share.
As most of you know, I recently went through the process of moving house. I have moved quite a lot over the years and I have taken each move in my stride I think. The last 3 moves before this one were major moves – from England to St. Louis, from St. Louis to Boise, from Boise to Oregon. So I thought this next move would be easy, since it was a distance of just 5 miles.
People have always told me how impressed they are that I can keep working when I make these major moves, since I continue to put out my weekly newsletter and energy tips. I must admit, I always felt pretty good about it too. I was quite pleased with my ability to structure my work so that I never missed anything. So I fully expected to be able to do the same again. After all, this should be a much easier move!
I could not have been more wrong. I think this has been one of the most stressful moves I’ve ever made. First of all there’s the fact that every other move has been one that we’ve initiated – we wanted and chose to move. That was not the case this time, since the owners of the house we were renting decided to come back to live in it. The second challenge is that this house is smaller than our last two homes, which means there are challenges with space.
So I thought that moving was no big deal and I also thought that I was really good about getting rid of stuff – I regularly purge and get rid of items, and I certainly have done that before and after each of my previous moves, so I was feeling pretty good about myself there too.
What I failed to recognize was that my last 3 moves were corporate moves, which means that companies are hired to move you. So they pack everything, transport and deliver it. Of course I had to organize everything, clean the house, and then unpack everything at the other end. This time, we moved everything ourselves. I thought we’d just be able to take things out of cupboards, transport them and then put them away in the new house. But it’s not quite that easy.
The act of having to take everything out, pack it, transport it, and then put it away again is completely different from simply unpacking boxes. It’s only when you have to move everything yourself that you really get to see exactly what you have. So not only have I been spoiled in the past by having everything packed for me, I have not been releasing the amount of stuff I thought I had. I just couldn’t believe how much stuff we have.
I can tell you that there are things I have moved from St. Louise, to Boise, to Oregon that I never would have kept if I had had to pack them myself in the first place. This time, as I was packing I became fully aware of all the things I had. There was so much that I didn’t need, use, want or love. The energy and weight of that was quite overwhelming.
So there it is. I was in denial about how difficult it is to move, and I was in denial about exactly how much stuff we had. For the first time I really felt the weight of all the stuff. It was overwhelming. I know this, and I teach it, but this was the first time I had really felt it to this extent. What a relief now to be able to let so much of this go.
I know that for me this move has been about focusing on what’s really important in my life – and this experience has reinforced that for me. I didn’t want to move, but the Universe knew exactly what I needed for the next step on my journey.
So there you have it. I hope that sharing my story may help you to see where perhaps you might not quite be seeing things as they really are. I certainly wasn’t. I’m continuing to purge and every time I let go of something else it feels really good. I don’t want to live in denial any longer – it’s not a nice place to be.Tweet
Very often you might find yourself struggling to accomplish something, let go of something or someone or make some kind of change. You may want to be happier, wealthier, or more successful. You may want to have closer, more loving relationships. Or you may want to travel, take a wonderful vacation, or change your career, or have a more successful business. You work hard, you do all the things you think you should do or that people tell you to do and yet it doesn’t seem to happen for you. The answer may be very simple.
Most of the time, the only thing that’s stopping you is you. You may simply need to give yourself permission to do, be or have what you want. That sounds so simple doesn’t it? It is, and yet it’s not always so easy.
It seems silly to think that if you want something you may not have given yourself permission to have it. Yet it’s true. Very often that can be the thing that holds you back. Think of something you want, and ask yourself if you’ve given yourself permission to have it. If you ask and answer honestly – and journaling can help you discover your answer – you might find that there’s a part of you that does not what you to have it and doesn’t give permission.
So the question is are you willing to give yourself permission to have what you want? If the answer is yes, then you simply acknowledge that to yourself.
What do you want to give yourself permission for? Create an affirmation for yourself:
I give myself permission to:
- Release all excess weight
- Have a close and loving relationship
- Love myself
- Have a successful business
- Be myself
- Take a fabulous trip (like the Oceans of Possibility Cruise)
- Make new friends
- Make the money I know I deserve
- Be a successful business owner
- Have a new career
- Open myself up to new possibilities for my life
- Let go of fear
Create your affirmation and repeat it to yourself daily. Write it down. Notice how your body feels when you say it and write it. How do you feel? What thoughts come up for you? Do you feel resistance as you say or write it?
If you feel any discomfort, if you feel excuses or arguments coming into your thoughts, or if you feel any resistance at all, you will know that there’s a part of you that is withholding permission. You’ll want to find out what part of you that is. Perhaps it’s the voice of a parent or someone else. Perhaps it’s a part of your personality that’s afraid of what will happen if/when you have what you want.
Sometimes this is the only thing that’s holding you back. You just don’t have your permission to go for what you want. So what are you going to give yourself permission to do, be or have?Tweet
When it comes to mastering the skills that are necessary to help you live the life that you want, have the success that you want, and the relationships that you want, I have found that there are two in particular that are perhaps the most important, and also the most difficult. If you embrace these two life skills they seem to make everything else so much easier. Yet the majority of people (myself included) find them challenging.
This is easier said than done. You might think that you are a relaxed person – I used to think that about myself, and so do many people I know. Yet when you look really deeply, you may find that you’re not as relaxed as you thought. Do you:
- Worry about things you have no control over
- Stress about what ‘might’ or ‘could’ happen
- Try to control outcomes
- Think that everything has to be a certain way
- Have perfectionist tendencies
- Deny yourself the time to take care of yourself or to do fun things
- Put everybody else before you
If you look at yourself honestly, you may find that you’re not as relaxed as you thought. Why is relaxing so important? Because the more energy that you put into any of the above, the less you have for yourself, the more out of alignment you can become, and the less likely it is that you will easily find solutions to the challenges you are facing.
When you are not relaxed you cannot fully be open to opportunities that come your way. You block yourself off from anything good. You’ll struggle more than you need to. You’ll find yourself trying to make things happen or wishing things would happen or being frustrated because things are not happening as you want them to – this is not being relaxed.
It’s harder than it sounds because you can’t just give yourself a command to relax and then find yourself doing it. Instead, you have to catch yourself when you’re not relaxed, take a deep breath and be willing to let go of the stress, anxiety and struggle. If you are at least willing to let it go, then you are on the way to allowing yourself to relax.
During a recent tele-seminar interview that I did with Human Design expert, ReGina Concotelli, she was sharing the qualities and aspects of the different personality types as outlined in Human Design. She was sharing what each of the types needed to do to be in alignment with their true selves, and to maximize their energy. The one thing that all of them benefited from the most is waiting.
This means waiting and allowing a pause before you jump into something or before you take action. Pausing to allow yourself to really connect on an inner level with what it is you want to do. When you allow yourself to wait and check in with yourself this way, you can easily get a sense of whether or not this is something that you truly want to put your energy into. Waiting in fact allows you to not only make sure that it’s the right thing for you to do, but it also allows you to put more of your energy into it when you do it. Because then you truly know it’s the right thing and you’ll be doing it at the right time – for you. This is because you took the time to wait and check in with yourself.
If you’re like me and you love to take action and you enjoy being busy, waiting can be one of the most difficult things. I have so many ideas that when a really good one comes along it is tempting for me to just jump in. However, I am learning to wait and when I do that it ultimately makes whatever I want to do so much easier. I find that the right people show up to help me, things flow more easily because the timing is right and I’m not trying to force anything. Most of all, I feel more energized because I’m making the best use of my energy.
Practice these two critical life skills and see how much easier, and more enjoyable your life can be.Tweet
There’s nothing like moving house to force you into looking very closely at your possessions to determine whether or not you really need to keep them. When you move to a smaller space it’s an even bigger invitation to become very clear about what you want to take with you. But you don’t have to wait for a move to look more deeply at the things you are surrounding yourself with and release what no longer serves you.
Letting go of your stuff can be difficult. You have a lot of energy and emotion tied up in your things. Yet that is the very reason why it’s so important to take a really close look at the things you have, what they really mean to you and why you are keeping them.
If you look really closely and are really honest with yourself, you will find that you have things that you are keeping because:
- You’re afraid to let them go ‘just in case’ you might need them again some day
- You spent a lot of money on something
- You have a lot of time and energy tied up in something
- Someone gave it to you and you’d feel guilty if you let it go
- It used to be important to you, although it no longer represents who you are and what you do now
These can be anything from books or magazines that you ‘might’ want to refer to, to course and program materials that you’ve invested a lot of time, energy and money in. It could be family gifts or something that’s been in the family for a long time that you don’t really like, want or use, but you’d feel guilty if you got rid of it. It could be something that you used to do – perhaps a hobby that you used to enjoy or an aspect of your business or career that no longer applies, or it’s simply an item of furniture or another object that was just very expensive to buy.
When you tell yourself any of the above reasons for keeping something, it can seem justified. You buy into the story that you can’t possible let it go because …… But if you’re really honest with yourself you would see that this isn’t the case at all and that none of these are truly valid reasons for keeping something.
It might help you to see it from the perspective of energy, because when you look at each of these reasons the energy you will see behind them is fear. You’re afraid to let these things go and so you allow your emotions to be tied up in them. What it really means is that keeping these things when you don’t really need, use, want or love them, will keep you stuck. The more you hold onto these things, the more you will push away other opportunities. Because by holding on to them you are creating distraction and you are holding on to the past, to what used to be, or even to what might be, you are not embracing the present and the future.
I have worked with people and the energy of their homes for 16 years and I have seen first-hand the impact of holding onto things that you don’t really need. This has been particularly brought home to me as I prepare to move again to a smaller space. I have worked with people who moved from a large house into a ‘temporary’ apartment, where they planned to stay only for a year or so until they were able to buy their own home. 5 or 10 years later, they are still there, surrounded by all their stuff – much of it still in boxes. Why has it taken so long? Why are they still stuck in their ‘temporary’ home? They stay there because they are holding on to so much stuff.
I know that by moving to a smaller home we’re being invited to let go of any and all distractions, both in terms of ‘stuff’ and in terms of people and situations that are no longer a good fit in our lives. If we try to take everything with us and not let go of as much as we can then we will be keeping ourselves stuck.
I won’t say it’s easy because it isn’t. I’ve already let go of a lot, since we only moved just over a year ago. At first I resisted letting go of more because I believed that there was nothing left for me to release. But if I’m honest I know that’s not true. So I’m embracing the challenge. I know the power of letting go and therefore I’m willing to embrace it. There is an art to it and the art is being honest with yourself, which isn’t always easy.Tweet
If you’ve been following along with my articles/blog posts on Embracing Change, you’ll be familiar with the situation that is unfolding for me around having to move house. You’ll know that we love the house that we’re renting, we love the neighborhood and yet we have to move because we’re renting and the owners are coming back to live here. You’ll also know that last week we found a house. This week I’m going to dig a little deeper into the meaning and opportunities coming up as we move forward.
As we are making arrangements for our move at the end of this month, I’ve obviously been thinking about the house that we’re moving to in terms of logistics – where we are going to put things, etc. The house is a not as spacious as this one and so it will be a bit of a challenge.
But far beyond the logistics of where everything is going to go, there is a deeper meaning here and that’s what I want to go over today, because, as you’ve probably heard me share before, your home can either sabotage you or support you. The home you are living in is perfect for you at this time and there’s a reason you’re living there. Since most people don’t understand this, I thought it would be helpful for me to share my experience so you can see how to apply this to your situation.
As I outlined in the Embracing Change series of articles, it’s important to keep noticing how you feel and what’s coming up for you. It doesn’t end just because we found the house we’re going to move to.
What I was noticing this week, after we paid the deposit on the house and are now ready to start the moving process, is that my energy was quite low around the whole moving event. I’m a person who likes to take action, as soon as I know what action to take, and I really wasn’t feeling like doing much of anything regarding the move. I didn’t know what this meant exactly, I just noticed it.
I also noticed that the focus of my thoughts was on the fact that the house is smaller than this one we are living in, and much smaller than the house we left in Idaho. Clearly this wasn’t sitting well with me and yet I knew from the minute I walked into the house that it was the right house for us. What did this mean? That’s what I wanted to find out.
I had a discussion with my friend Rebecca, who is very intuitive, and she told me she felt I was in denial about something. We talked about what it might be, but I couldn’t really come up with anything. Still, the conversation helped and I put my attention on what I might be in denial about.
The next day it came to me. If you’ve been on the Oceans of Possibility Cruise web page and listened to the recording where Liz shares her experience on last year’s cruise, you’ll have heard her mention one of the things I did on the cruise, which was to ask participants what they loved most and liked least about their home. I then was able to tell them what I felt this meant for them energetically, in terms of where they are in their life process and how the house represents that. That’s what I was asking myself about this house. Clearly, what I didn’t like is that fact that the house is smaller inside, what I love is that it overlooks a park and has great views, so it’s smaller inside and expansive on the outside.
I could go into detail, but that would make for an extremely long article, so let me just share this – what I realize is that this house for us is about narrowing our focus and letting go of distractions. We are being invited to release more, to let go of anything that is not truly important to us – this relates to possessions, but the larger meaning is in our life generally. We could try to take everything and fit everything in, but I know that if we do this it will keep us stuck. We will not be open to opportunities because we will be too attached to what we already have.
I hadn’t realized this before because we have already let go of a lot of stuff – we’ve moved several times and I always felt that we were really good about letting go of things. That’s what I was in denial about – it’s time to let go of more.
This is the power behind Feng Shui and understanding how the energy of your home is directly connected to you and your life. It’s what I teach, and it’s what I help others to see for themselves. Once I understood this about our move, I was really ready to embrace it. I realize that, although I had accepted the change, I hadn’t truly embraced it until now – I had to understand it fully to embrace it (that was more denial on my part). Now I’m excited and my energy is high. I’m busy thinking about what we are ready to release in preparation for our move. It’s a new chapter. It’s time to more focused than ever before.
I hope this makes sense for you, if it does, you may have a huge breakthrough just like I did. This is how self-awareness works. This is why it’s so important to be fully present. This is also why it’s helpful to talk things through sometimes with someone who understands, because it can be difficult to see your own stuff (even for me).Tweet
I definitely experienced some emotional challenges at the beginning of this week. Being highly sensitive, the search for a house and the deadline for moving closing in does sometimes create a sense of overwhelm. When that happens it can feel paralyzing. I don’t want to do anything. I get frustrated with people who list their house for rent and then don’t call back. There are very few houses available and it starts to feel a little overwhelming.
It feels like a constant internal battle – which it is, and now I am aware that the fact that I’m highly sensitive makes it even more challenging. Friends who want to help tell me to stay positive and focused on what I want and not to settle for anything less. Their intentions are good, yet instead of helping me feel better, it makes me feel worse. At this point, ‘trying’ to be positive doesn’t help, it can actually make it worse, particularly when someone is telling you to be more positive.
The only thing to do when it gets to this is to allow any negative thoughts and feelings to be there. It’s tempting to dismiss them because I don’t want to feel this way, but just trying to ‘be positive’ won’t work. The feelings are there and attempting to be positive doesn’t help. I also have to make a point to do whatever I can to balance my energy and stay grounded – knitting helps me, going for a walk, being with my cats, or reading. I can’t be around people at this point and I don’t really want to talk to anyone. People who are not highly sensitive can’t understand this, they see it as negative, which it isn’t. It’s simply over-stimulation, which is a common thing for highly sensitive people and it will pass.
I am also very aware of how much worse everything seems when I’m tired. When I don’t sleep well I get tired, and this can be a common occurrence for highly sensitive people – it is for me. This adds greatly to the ability to easily become over-stimulated. There’s nothing to do but be patient with yourself, ride the wave of energy as it goes downward, stay with it and eventually, if you take good care of yourself, your energy will start to recover. This is what has happened to me and now I’m back to my usual, optimistic and positive self. Trying to force myself to be positive does not help – it’s important to recognize this.
The good news is that we have now found a house. It’s only about 5 miles away from here and it backs onto a park. Is it 100% perfect? No. It’s a little smaller than this one, but otherwise, everything else about it is great. It’s in a great neighborhood, it’s newer than this house, and it means we can still keep in touch with the friends we’ve made here. We will also be able to keep up-to-date with houses in this area that come up for sale, so that when we’re ready to buy in a year or so, we’ll be able to find our ideal home.
Obviously the journey is not over yet. Right now we have a verbal agreement with the owners of the house. They have to move out, our rental application has to be accepted, and the final moving date agreed. Then we have to pack up our stuff and make the move, which I have to admit I’m not looking forward to. However, we’ll do it and we’ll make it as easy and straight-forward as we possibly can.
As you can tell, change isn’t always easy, particularly when it’s forced on you, but you can still embrace it and create a positive outcome. You won’t be positive all the time. You won’t feel good all the time, and that’s okay. You have to allow yourself to feel whatever comes up, not be too attached to the outcome, and most of all stay very aware.
Also, one thing I’ve noticed is that a big breakthrough usually comes when you have gone through a really low energy period. That certainly is true in this case.Tweet
The journey continues with no resolution yet. We still have about 6 weeks until we have to move and we’re still searching for the right house. Once again, I’ll take you through what’s happened and, more importantly, the emotional aspects and what it all means.
There has been some progress this week – we finally heard about the other house on our street and it didn’t work out. There’s a small part of me that’s disappointed – because it would have been so much easier to just move a few houses down. However, ultimately I’m not that disappointed because I didn’t like the house. The only good thing about it was that it was on the lake. Energetically, it wasn’t good. It’s also dated and the bathrooms are not in the best condition.
We would have moved there for convenience if it worked out, but I have to say there’s a part of me that’s relieved that it didn’t. I would still rather not leave the lake of course, but if we have to then so be it. I have accepted that.
I did look at another house, which is about 8 miles away from where we live now. It’s a nice house, the best I’ve seen so far. There are pros and cons and we’re considering those – the pros are that it’s in this general area, it’s in great condition and fairly new, and it’s available right away. The cons are that it’s smaller than we’d like and the commute for my husband would be longer and more challenging. We are considering it though and I’ve arranged for us both to see it this weekend – even though the property management agents don’t work at the weekend and I have to confess that there’s still a part of my personality that is irritated by that.
One other house has come up which is closer, although quite a bit smaller, but it does have a nice view. I’m hoping to make an appointment to see that soon.
So as you can see, there’s no perfect solution that has arisen yet and time is ticking. Let’s go back to the 6 steps for embracing change to see how I’m doing:
Step 1: Accept the situation
Would we prefer not to move? Absolutely. However, I do feel that we’ve accepted it pretty well. Honestly, I think there is still a small amount of resistance, although it feels as though it’s getting smaller all the time. Although I love being here, there are things about this house that I won’t miss and I’m focusing on those a little more – it helps.
Step 2: Acknowledge your feelings
I feel as though I’m doing a good job with this one. I’m acknowledging any irritation, anxiety and frustration when it arises and I have noticed that it these feelings are coming up less and less and are definitely less intense.
Step 3: Know what you want
We are clear on what we want – and I still have my vision board in place where I can see it.
Step 4: Detach
Again, I feel we’re doing better all the time with this one. We want what we want, however, we are open to other possibilities.
Step 5: Take inspired action
I’m checking for houses every day and making appointments for those that look promising. Could we be doing something else as well? If so I can’t think what it might be – no inspiration there. Everyone who wants to rent out a house puts it on-line, so that’s where I’m looking.
Step 6: Monitor your energy
This is a given for me, as I monitor it all the time. Some days I definitely feel more positive and energized than others.
Overall I think we’re doing okay, although of course I would like resolution NOW. That’s the part of my personality that is impatient – but then she’s impatient with most things, so that’s not surprising. What’s interesting to notice is that no matter what does (or does not) happen, my mind seems much more peaceful about everything – and that’s significant. It’s the mind that gets us in trouble, worrying about this and that and focusing on what if’s….. The mind chatter is getting less and less, which means there’s greater acceptance and trust. And that’s the goal. That’s how you move through change more easily.
As always, I’ll keep you posted..Tweet
It’s week three and, as with any significant change, this week has been a roller-coaster emotionally and energetically. I’m continuing to go through the 6-step process. It’s something that will be repeated until the change has taken place and been resolved. One of the things that you’ll notice as you go through this process is how it’s much easier to accept, to detach and to take inspired action when you feel good, and when things are going well. It’s much more difficult when you feel tired, or when things don’t go well.
I have looked at two houses this week that are available for rent. There was nothing particularly wrong with them, but neither of them felt like ‘the one.’ I noticed how my energy was quite low after visiting each house, which is quite typical because each time I look at a house I’m hoping that ‘this is the one.’
A couple of other things happened to lower my energy this week. The first is that I had one fairly sleepless night – nothing to do with house hunting, it was due to a neighbor two houses down who plays in a rock band, they decided to rehearse one night until about 2:00am. The other thing that happened is that I had a flat tire on the highway as I was on my way to play tennis on Tuesday.
All of these things combined have been enough to lower my energy and it’s very easy to get stuck in a negative, downward spiral. It’s important that you have things you can do to help you re-group and re-balance your energy. For me, that’s typically going for a walk, playing tennis, knitting, being with my cats, journaling, and talking to friends (but they have to be the right friends).
The fact that I had a flat tire as I was on my way to my tennis match added to my low energy because it caused me to miss the match – I have never missed a match until now, so that did not feel good.
I was very aware that my energy was low and I didn’t feel good and I allowed myself to feel it. It’s important that you allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling, but be careful of staying stuck in it. If you allow it, the feelings should pass through fairly quickly. The more you do this, the faster it clears. You’re not ‘trying’ to clear it. You’re not forcing anything.
As I’ve ridden the roller coaster of feelings this week, I felt that I was clearing things at a deeper level. Each time painful feelings and emotions arise, I know that I’m expanding and growing and that if I allow myself to go through it without fighting or resisting, then I’m releasing more and more unhealthy beliefs, programming and energy. Painful emotions are a sign that you are processing energy in fear and doubt – it’s your body’s response to the fears generated by old conditioning. As you let it go you become calmer and stronger, and that’s how I’m feeling.
So there is no resolution yet, just an opportunity to face the emotions that come up and each time they do it’s an opportunity to grow.Tweet
Following on from last week’s article, I promised to keep you updated on the change that’s taking place for me right now – finding a new house to rent and to move. Last week I outlined the 6 steps to help you embrace change. What happens now is that you continue to work each of those steps. You keep coming back to each one and releasing obstacles to each one at deeper and deeper levels.
When I report on my overview for the week, it appears as though not much is happening or has happened since I reported last week. We have looked at one property, which is 8 doors down from this one, which is in the process of being sold and the new owners want to rent the house. However, that house is much larger than this one, and not in the greatest shape inside. All of that wouldn’t matter except that the new owners (they close on the 16th) want quite a bit more rent than we want to pay.
It is possible that they may be willing to let us have it at the rent we want to pay, it’s also possible that they would rather wait and find someone who will pay more. We don’t know the answer to that yet and probably won’t until after the closing on April 16th.
I have been continuing to look on-line at rental properties in the area. We have done a drive-by of 3 houses, so we have an idea of what area would work for us.
The most important thing that’s happened for me really is some very important and new self awareness that has come up for me, I believe as a result of this change and applying the 6-step process. I’ll be sharing more about that going forward.
Step 1 – Accept the Situation
It’s tempting to think that once you have accepted a situation that’s it and you don’t need to return to this step. That’s not necessarily the case. You can accept something mentally, and yet there can still be some internal resistance to it. You haven’t really accepted it until you feel completely at peace with it.
I have noticed that I am feeling more at peace with it now. If we have to leave this area, leave the lake and be somewhere else that’s okay. I also know that it will only be temporary – when we are ready to sell our house in Idaho and buy a house here (probably next year some time) we can come back here and find the right house.
Is there still some resistance? Possibly, although if there is it’s much less.
Step 2 – Acknowledge Your Feelings
I’m continuing to do this. One of the things I’m aware of feeling is frustration and slight anxiety around not knowing exactly what to do next. Do we wait until we hear back on the house down the street (whether they will accept the rent we want to pay) or do we look at the other houses that are available now? If we find a house that we like it would most likely all move very quickly.
So I’m acknowledging the frustration and also focusing on trusting myself (trusting us) that we will know when it’s time to go and look at houses. It’s all about being okay with uncertainty, which is difficult for all of us I think. I’m becoming more comfortable with it, yet it’s still a process.
Step 3 – Intention
We still have our intention. We know what we want. We are both clear about that.
Step 4 – Detach
I definitely feel as though we are doing better with this one. Since we are able to accept and be at peace with the situation much more, then it’s easier to detach from the outcome and trust that whatever the outcome is, it will be the right one and we will be fine.
Step 5 – Take inspired action
As I mentioned last week, this is often the most difficult for me because what I really want is to just do it. To just have it all sorted out and to be doing what I need to do to move. It’s the waiting part that’s more difficult for me. I feel that this week I have taken all the action I can take and need to take at this moment. I am learning to be okay with non-action. Although I do recognize that a large part of my personality doesn’t like it.
Step 6 – Monitor your energy
I’m continuing to do this and it’s improving all the time. There are cycles, and I think it’s important to recognize that this will usually be the case. Some days my energy around this is extremely positive and focused, and other days not so much. It’s on those days when the energy is low and you start to doubt or experience anxiety that the biggest learning opportunities arise. If your energy is low and you’re not feeling very positive, you can’t force yourself to be positive. The low energy is telling you something and it’s best to pay attention to it.
So that is my progress for this week. It’s the same when there are any major changes, there are periods when a lot is happening and periods when nothing much seems to be happening. But things are always happening on an inner level and that’s where the growth and the opportunities come.
Let’s see what happens next week.Tweet