It’s been 13 weeks since we moved into our new home. It seems like much longer as so much has taken place. Even though we were settled in our previous home and didn’t really want to move, there are several things that I was aware of:
- There were things for us to learn from this situation – things that we needed
- That this new home would support us in ways the previous one couldn’t
- That this was an important step for us on our life journey, even if we couldn’t see how or why yet
Since I have worked with the energy of homes for many years, I am fortunate to have a deeper understanding than most of the significance of the house we’re living in. What I knew about this house is that it would support me in identifying what was most important to me. It would help me release anything that distracted and detracted from what’s important, and that it probably wouldn’t be easy (personal growth never is easy).
This letting go of everything but what’s most important would give me the clarity, focus and momentum I need to help me do what I am here to do most effectively.
I understand that to many this may all sound very odd – how can a house have so much influence? Well it does. Your house does. Everybody’s house does. The challenge is that most people don’t recognize that and so deny themselves the benefit of a wonderful tool to support their personal growth.
When you resist or simply remain unaware of what’s really going on, then everything is much more difficult. It all takes longer and you struggle wondering what’s going on, when it’s all going to end and why can’t you just accomplish your goals and intentions without all of this? But when you embrace what’s happening and where you are – even if you don’t like it – then you understand how much you can learn from every situation you experience.
For me, this has meant several very deep and significant personal and professional breakthroughs. As I knew I would, I am being forced to identify what’s most important to me and to release everything else. I’m learning where and how I have not been true to myself. I am connecting more deeply with the real me. I am connecting more and more with the loving aspects of myself and identifying and releasing the fearful parts. This is all work that I have been doing for many years, but since moving here that work has intensified and deepened even more.
Since who I am and the work that I do for myself fuels the work that I do for others, this makes me stronger, and even more effective. What I identify in myself I then identify more easily in others. Marianne Williamson says, in her famous quote, “As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
What’s been unfolding for me since I moved helps me understand on an even deeper level the importance of the work that I’m doing. As I grow I help others grow. As I help you grow, you in turn help and have a positive influence on the others in your life. This is how it works. It makes me understand on a deeper level the importance of the events and programs that I’m creating. As you join me in these events and programs you benefit from my growth, and I benefit from sharing in yours. Isn’t that a beautiful thing?
This is what has been going on for me since I moved here. I would say that in just 13 weeks I have probably had more intense growth than I would usually experience in a year or more. It isn’t always easy but I surrender to it and the more I surrender the better things get. Some of the things I’ve been learning are:
- What’s most important
- My true self and voice
- Where and how we lose ourselves
- The difference between self-sabotage and self-destruction
- How to help myself at deeper and deeper levels
- How to help others at deeper and deeper levels
- The art of surrender
- Why and how we must heed Anita Moorjani’s words to “love yourself unconditionally and be yourself fearlessly”
- How to be at peace, follow my intuition always, and offer the best, highest quality, most effective work
- How to help myself and others more effectively
I hope this helps you. I have so much more to share so I hope you’ll join me on this wonderful journey. Every event and program I create comes from the deepest part of me so I can re-connect you with your deepest, most authentic self.
Who knew moving house could achieve all that?Tweet
How busy are you? Everybody seems to be so busy these days. The interesting thing is that people often say they wish they weren’t quite as busy, yet it’s something that never changes. Why is that? After all, being busy is a good thing, right? Not really.
To find out whether it’s a good thing for you, let me ask you a few questions:
- Are you too busy to take quiet time for yourself?
- Are you too busy to spend quality time with friends or family?
- When you’re with friends and family or taking time for yourself are you constantly thinking about your to-do list?
- Are there things you want to do but don’t because you’re too busy?
- Do you feel that in order to accomplish the goals you’ve set for yourself you need to do more?
- Are you too busy to return phone calls?
- Are you too busy to exercise and take care of your body?
- Are your vacations also busy and very active?
As someone who likes to take action and likes to do and accomplish things I am very familiar with being busy. I can very easily become so busy that I don’t have time for anything or anyone else. I’ve learned to stop that though because it’s not worth the cost.
What is the cost of being busy all the time? There can actually be a very high price to pay:
You may find yourself neglecting the people who are most important – yourself, your family, your friends, your pets, your dreams and the things you really want to do.
Who or what are you avoiding by being busy all the time? You may be avoiding spending time with yourself because you’re afraid of what you really feel or don’t feel. You may be avoiding facing the truth about yourself, your life, your relationships, your general peace and happiness.
Pursuing External Power
You are pursuing external power when you make yourself so busy that you don’t have time to listen and pay attention to your inner voice. I don’t mean the critical self that tells you you’re not good enough, you’re not doing enough, etc. I mean your real inner voice, the one that guides you and wants you to see the truth about yourself – that you are good enough always and in all ways. When you ignore your inner voice because you’re too busy ‘doing’ you are pursuing external power. Your focus is on doing instead of being. This is not good for you or anyone around you.
When you lose yourself in busyness you are losing yourself. You are denying yourself the opportunity to understand what your life and your relationships are really about. You lose the opportunity to grow on an inner level. You may think you’re growing and achieving – but if it’s all external, it’s not real growth.
You may think that it’s not possible to stop being so busy because there is so much to do. I ask you to consider if that’s really true. Do you really need to be doing everything that you’re doing – if you’re honest with yourself? Your mind will say “yes, of course,” but what does your heart say? What could you give up? What could you get help with?
Unfortunately, most people only get this lesson when they are forced to stop being busy – this is usually due to burnout, illness or to something else like a personal or family crisis. That’s because being busy for the sake of being busy is not what you’re here to do. Even if your work is extremely important to you and to others, I still ask you to question the extent of your busyness.
When you and others suffer because you’re too busy you are not in alignment. You are not being true to yourself. Ask yourself, why it’s important for you to be so busy? What don’t you want to see?
Being busy doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re accomplishing what you want. I know people who are so busy it makes me feel exhausted just listening to them talk about going to this meeting and that meeting, and needing to get this done and that done. Yet what are they really accomplishing and, most importantly, at what cost? Their energy is scattered.
I’m not saying you should never be busy. What I’m saying is don’t lose yourself in it. Don’t use it as avoidance. Be honest with yourself about what you’re doing and why and what you’re not doing and why. How can you be your best self if you never have time for yourself or others?
The beautiful thing that I have learned about stepping back, and allowing myself to not be busy all the time, is that I actually accomplish more. I have the energy to put into what’s really important. I can take time for myself or spend time with friends. If a friend calls and needs to talk to me I will never say I’m too busy.
Busyness is a hard habit to break but it is possible and the rewards are great. Consider this as an invitation to take an honest look at just how busy you are and what is suffering as a result. It’s also an invitation to stop pursuing external power and results and to create authentic power (from the inside) instead. Once you get a taste of authentic power you will never want to go back – but you’ll never experience it if you’re too busy!Tweet
Have you ever had a situation where someone became angry or upset and tried to pull you into their drama? I’m sure this is something we’ve all experienced. You might start off your day feeling great, but then someone comes along, creates a drama and you get all caught up in it. Before you know it, you’re probably feeling more upset than they are. Often they walk away feeling much better, leaving you in a state of agitation that may last hours, days or even weeks. It doesn’t feel good.
The beautiful thing about personal and spiritual growth is that it leads you to gain access to your authentic power. When you are in touch with your authentic power, other people and their dramas don’t affect you. This is something that I have known and taught for many years and have certainly been working towards. I recently had the opportunity to experience this directly and I was able to see just how far I have come in this respect.
This is a situation that would have derailed me just a few years ago. I would not have been able to stop myself from getting caught up in it and I know that it would have activated all the fearful parts of my personality, all my insecurities and it would have left me feeling terrible. I’d like to share my experience with you because I think you may find it helpful to see what’s possible.
If you’ve read many of my previous articles you’ll know that I love to play tennis and you’ll also know that during each tennis match I have my own personal growth seminar. I learn a lot about myself on the tennis court and it shows me not only where I am in terms of my tennis game, but where I am in my life.
Last year in the local Summer Singles League I played a match against a particular woman. I noticed that she was a good player – she had a very good (hard) serve, and a very good forehand. She was also very intense, meaning that she took it very, very seriously and she got angry with herself if she missed a shot or if things weren’t going as well as she thought they should.
I didn’t learn to play until I was in my 30’s so I know that technically I’m not a great player, but I can be an effective player. Although she was initially ahead in the match when I played her last year, I ended up winning the match and she was not happy at all. She screamed and slammed the ball around and generally behaved quite badly. This is what tennis can do to you – if you have any insecurities, they will all come out and that’s exactly what happened last year.
So I got to play her again in the same league this year. She let me know early on that she was ready for me this time. If I thought she was intense before, she was even more intense and determined this time. So the more intense she became, the more relaxed I became. I felt good. I simply observed her behavior. Once again, she was ahead in the match, but I was relaxed and I came back and won the first set. She became angry. She even insulted me and my game.
The same thing happened in the second set. Initially she was ahead – 5-1, she only had to win one more game to win that set, but once again, I stayed relaxed, and I came back to win that set and the match.
She was furious. She screamed and slammed the ball. She even made threats as to what she would do to me if she meets me again next year.
Now, it’s not as if there is anything at stake here. We’re not going to win some great prize even if we win all our matches. So why would someone (a grown woman in her 30’s) behave in this way?
As I mentioned, playing a sport like tennis will bring out all your insecurities. If you are an angry and unhappy person that’s what will come out when you play. She’s trying to control something – the tennis match – to make her feel better. The intensity, the anger, the screaming and yelling and the insults, those are all her subconscious attempts to project her anger and unhappiness onto me. If I take the bait and react, then she passes some of that energy to me. That energy becomes mine and it begins to affect me. I would start to feel worse (and play worse) and she would start to feel better, and play better.
This is what would have happened for me in the past. But now I know better. I knew that what she was doing and saying actually had nothing to do with me. It was her anger and unhappiness that were coming out and that she was (subconsciously) trying to pass on to me. When you are connected with your authentic power you recognize that and you don’t take it on. You just stay connected to your own energy and don’t take on the other person’s.
The reason she became so much worse than last year was because I did not offer relief for her by taking on any of her toxic energy. It was building up (added on to what she still felt from the previous year). She had to deal with it all by herself and it was too much for her.
This situation just happened to take place on a tennis court, but the same applies no matter where you are. It may be a situation with a family member or your spouse or partner or even a child. Or it could happen with a colleague at work. When you can stay grounded and connected with your own energy – with your own authentic power – you interrupt the pattern.
Although I’m sure she doesn’t realize it yet, I think I actually may have helped this woman by interrupting the pattern. I’m sure she wins a lot of matches this way. If the other player takes on some of her energy they can’t help but not be able to play as well and then she’ll win the match and it will make her feel better for a very short while.
Here are some important points to take away from this experience:
1. Her belief and justification for her behavior is that she is a competitive person and a type A personality. However, this goes way beyond simply being competitive or type A. The real reason is that she is a deeply unhappy and angry person. Her behavior came from the parts of her personality are based in fear.
2. Notice the several phases of what happened. Each time I didn’t get triggered, the behavior got worse:
- Intimidation – letting me know at the beginning that she was ready and that what happened the previous year would not happen again.
- Aggression – aggressive play and behavior
- Anger – screaming, yelling, slamming the ball
- Insults – insulting me and the way I play
- Threats – threatening physical abuse if she meets me again next year
3. It’s possible to get hooked into someone’s energy and their drama at any one of the above stages.
4. This becomes much more difficult when you are dealing with family members, close friends or a spouse or partner, but the same strategies apply.
5. This all happens unconsciously. You must recognize that and not take it personally. Even though the attack was personal I didn’t take it personally because I recognized what was really going on.
6. The only thing you need to do is observe what’s happening and notice how you feel. Just take care of yourself and your energy – you cannot help or change the other person in that moment. You will help them the most if you interrupt the pattern and don’t allow yourself to be pulled in.
This kind of thing happens a lot, in life as well as in tennis. The best thing about it for me is in seeing how far I have come. This kind of episode would have had the potential to affect me in the past. It doesn’t any more. I hope that this example helps to show you what’s possible. I know that if I can do it, then you can do it. Stay connected to your own energy and don’t take on anyone else’s. Don’t get involved in someone else’s drama.Tweet
There’s one very small but powerful word that has the power to transform your life. It’s such a simple word. It’s one that I use with my coaching clients all the time. It’s one I ask myself all the time and I encourage others to use with everything they do. It can bring awareness, clarity, motivation and strength. If self-awareness is the key to transformation, this is the word that can bring you to that level of self-awareness.
What is this word that is so small and simple, yet so powerful? That word is WHY? You probably used to use it all the time when you were a child. Every time you asked a question and your parents or teachers gave you an answer, you probably then asked why? You may have driven them crazy by constantly asking why. Perhaps your children do the same to you.
The reason it’s such an important word is that we get so busy, and pulled in so many directions that we end up just going along with things just because they’re in front of us. But when you connect with your why, then you’ll not only start to have a better and deeper understanding of yourself, you will also have a much clearer idea of what things you want to include in your life and what you want to release.
Here are some examples:
Goals or Intentions
Let’s say you have a specific life or business goal or intention. That’s great, we should all know what we want, but do you really know why you want it? If you say your intention is to have 10 new clients by the end of the year, ask yourself why you want that specifically. Once you have your answer, then go deeper – ask yourself why is that important to you. Once you have your answer to that you may even want to go deeper and ask why again.
When you do this, one of two things might happen. The first thing that could happen is that you may discover that this specific goal or intention is not what you really want at all. It may simply be what you thought you wanted. That’s important to know because you don’t want to put your energy into pursuing something that you don’t really want.
If you do find that it really is what you want, then you will be much more motivated and energized about it. By connecting to your why, you will also connect with the things you need in order to make it happen. You will be so focused that you won’t allow anything to distract you.
What things are you surrounding yourself with? Do you want to get organized but don’t have the time, energy or motivation? Are you having a hard time letting go of things? Once again, this is where the word ‘why’ can come in very useful.
Let’s say you have an item that you don’t particularly like or need or use, yet you find that you’re reluctant to let it go. Ask yourself why you are keeping it and be honest with your answer. Your answer might be “because a family member gave it to me,” or “because I spent a lot of money on it.” Again, whatever the answer is, you can go a little deeper. Why is that important? The answer may be “because I would feel guilty if I let it go,” or “I might be able to sell it and make money one day,” or something like that.
Again, once you know exactly why you are keeping something or are reluctant to let it go, you can then decide if that’s a good enough reason. You may find that it’s not a good enough reason and you’re able to let it go. Or, you may feel that you still want to keep it – but at least you’ll be doing so with awareness. You’ll know what the energy is behind it.
You can use this simple questioning technique for any situation, for example, “why did I attract this particular situation into my life? What am I to learn from it?” You can also use it when someone asks you to do something and you’re tempted to say yes even though you might want to say no – “why am I afraid to say no to this person?”
You can use this simple word in all areas of your life and it will help you to understand yourself and your life at a much deeper level. It will bring increased self-awareness. When you know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, or what you’re keeping and why you’re keeping it, then you’ll soon start to know where you’re putting your energy and what kind of energy you’re working with (is it coming from fear or from love?) This helps you to start putting your energy towards what’s really important.
So I invite you to give it a try. Start asking yourself why a little more often and see what insights you uncover for yourself.Tweet
A week or two ago I would have said that I didn’t think I was in denial about anything. After all, I actively look for the lessons in every situation and I try to be very aware of what’s going on with me. However, I’m realizing now that I’ve been in quite a bit of denial and discovering that has been quite a shock to the system. It’s a great example of just how things can be hidden from us – until we’re given the opportunity to see them. So how have I been in denial? Let me share.
As most of you know, I recently went through the process of moving house. I have moved quite a lot over the years and I have taken each move in my stride I think. The last 3 moves before this one were major moves – from England to St. Louis, from St. Louis to Boise, from Boise to Oregon. So I thought this next move would be easy, since it was a distance of just 5 miles.
People have always told me how impressed they are that I can keep working when I make these major moves, since I continue to put out my weekly newsletter and energy tips. I must admit, I always felt pretty good about it too. I was quite pleased with my ability to structure my work so that I never missed anything. So I fully expected to be able to do the same again. After all, this should be a much easier move!
I could not have been more wrong. I think this has been one of the most stressful moves I’ve ever made. First of all there’s the fact that every other move has been one that we’ve initiated – we wanted and chose to move. That was not the case this time, since the owners of the house we were renting decided to come back to live in it. The second challenge is that this house is smaller than our last two homes, which means there are challenges with space.
So I thought that moving was no big deal and I also thought that I was really good about getting rid of stuff – I regularly purge and get rid of items, and I certainly have done that before and after each of my previous moves, so I was feeling pretty good about myself there too.
What I failed to recognize was that my last 3 moves were corporate moves, which means that companies are hired to move you. So they pack everything, transport and deliver it. Of course I had to organize everything, clean the house, and then unpack everything at the other end. This time, we moved everything ourselves. I thought we’d just be able to take things out of cupboards, transport them and then put them away in the new house. But it’s not quite that easy.
The act of having to take everything out, pack it, transport it, and then put it away again is completely different from simply unpacking boxes. It’s only when you have to move everything yourself that you really get to see exactly what you have. So not only have I been spoiled in the past by having everything packed for me, I have not been releasing the amount of stuff I thought I had. I just couldn’t believe how much stuff we have.
I can tell you that there are things I have moved from St. Louise, to Boise, to Oregon that I never would have kept if I had had to pack them myself in the first place. This time, as I was packing I became fully aware of all the things I had. There was so much that I didn’t need, use, want or love. The energy and weight of that was quite overwhelming.
So there it is. I was in denial about how difficult it is to move, and I was in denial about exactly how much stuff we had. For the first time I really felt the weight of all the stuff. It was overwhelming. I know this, and I teach it, but this was the first time I had really felt it to this extent. What a relief now to be able to let so much of this go.
I know that for me this move has been about focusing on what’s really important in my life – and this experience has reinforced that for me. I didn’t want to move, but the Universe knew exactly what I needed for the next step on my journey.
So there you have it. I hope that sharing my story may help you to see where perhaps you might not quite be seeing things as they really are. I certainly wasn’t. I’m continuing to purge and every time I let go of something else it feels really good. I don’t want to live in denial any longer – it’s not a nice place to be.Tweet
Very often you might find yourself struggling to accomplish something, let go of something or someone or make some kind of change. You may want to be happier, wealthier, or more successful. You may want to have closer, more loving relationships. Or you may want to travel, take a wonderful vacation, or change your career, or have a more successful business. You work hard, you do all the things you think you should do or that people tell you to do and yet it doesn’t seem to happen for you. The answer may be very simple.
Most of the time, the only thing that’s stopping you is you. You may simply need to give yourself permission to do, be or have what you want. That sounds so simple doesn’t it? It is, and yet it’s not always so easy.
It seems silly to think that if you want something you may not have given yourself permission to have it. Yet it’s true. Very often that can be the thing that holds you back. Think of something you want, and ask yourself if you’ve given yourself permission to have it. If you ask and answer honestly – and journaling can help you discover your answer – you might find that there’s a part of you that does not what you to have it and doesn’t give permission.
So the question is are you willing to give yourself permission to have what you want? If the answer is yes, then you simply acknowledge that to yourself.
What do you want to give yourself permission for? Create an affirmation for yourself:
I give myself permission to:
- Release all excess weight
- Have a close and loving relationship
- Love myself
- Have a successful business
- Be myself
- Take a fabulous trip (like the Oceans of Possibility Cruise)
- Make new friends
- Make the money I know I deserve
- Be a successful business owner
- Have a new career
- Open myself up to new possibilities for my life
- Let go of fear
Create your affirmation and repeat it to yourself daily. Write it down. Notice how your body feels when you say it and write it. How do you feel? What thoughts come up for you? Do you feel resistance as you say or write it?
If you feel any discomfort, if you feel excuses or arguments coming into your thoughts, or if you feel any resistance at all, you will know that there’s a part of you that is withholding permission. You’ll want to find out what part of you that is. Perhaps it’s the voice of a parent or someone else. Perhaps it’s a part of your personality that’s afraid of what will happen if/when you have what you want.
Sometimes this is the only thing that’s holding you back. You just don’t have your permission to go for what you want. So what are you going to give yourself permission to do, be or have?Tweet
When it comes to mastering the skills that are necessary to help you live the life that you want, have the success that you want, and the relationships that you want, I have found that there are two in particular that are perhaps the most important, and also the most difficult. If you embrace these two life skills they seem to make everything else so much easier. Yet the majority of people (myself included) find them challenging.
This is easier said than done. You might think that you are a relaxed person – I used to think that about myself, and so do many people I know. Yet when you look really deeply, you may find that you’re not as relaxed as you thought. Do you:
- Worry about things you have no control over
- Stress about what ‘might’ or ‘could’ happen
- Try to control outcomes
- Think that everything has to be a certain way
- Have perfectionist tendencies
- Deny yourself the time to take care of yourself or to do fun things
- Put everybody else before you
If you look at yourself honestly, you may find that you’re not as relaxed as you thought. Why is relaxing so important? Because the more energy that you put into any of the above, the less you have for yourself, the more out of alignment you can become, and the less likely it is that you will easily find solutions to the challenges you are facing.
When you are not relaxed you cannot fully be open to opportunities that come your way. You block yourself off from anything good. You’ll struggle more than you need to. You’ll find yourself trying to make things happen or wishing things would happen or being frustrated because things are not happening as you want them to – this is not being relaxed.
It’s harder than it sounds because you can’t just give yourself a command to relax and then find yourself doing it. Instead, you have to catch yourself when you’re not relaxed, take a deep breath and be willing to let go of the stress, anxiety and struggle. If you are at least willing to let it go, then you are on the way to allowing yourself to relax.
During a recent tele-seminar interview that I did with Human Design expert, ReGina Concotelli, she was sharing the qualities and aspects of the different personality types as outlined in Human Design. She was sharing what each of the types needed to do to be in alignment with their true selves, and to maximize their energy. The one thing that all of them benefited from the most is waiting.
This means waiting and allowing a pause before you jump into something or before you take action. Pausing to allow yourself to really connect on an inner level with what it is you want to do. When you allow yourself to wait and check in with yourself this way, you can easily get a sense of whether or not this is something that you truly want to put your energy into. Waiting in fact allows you to not only make sure that it’s the right thing for you to do, but it also allows you to put more of your energy into it when you do it. Because then you truly know it’s the right thing and you’ll be doing it at the right time – for you. This is because you took the time to wait and check in with yourself.
If you’re like me and you love to take action and you enjoy being busy, waiting can be one of the most difficult things. I have so many ideas that when a really good one comes along it is tempting for me to just jump in. However, I am learning to wait and when I do that it ultimately makes whatever I want to do so much easier. I find that the right people show up to help me, things flow more easily because the timing is right and I’m not trying to force anything. Most of all, I feel more energized because I’m making the best use of my energy.
Practice these two critical life skills and see how much easier, and more enjoyable your life can be.Tweet
There’s nothing like moving house to force you into looking very closely at your possessions to determine whether or not you really need to keep them. When you move to a smaller space it’s an even bigger invitation to become very clear about what you want to take with you. But you don’t have to wait for a move to look more deeply at the things you are surrounding yourself with and release what no longer serves you.
Letting go of your stuff can be difficult. You have a lot of energy and emotion tied up in your things. Yet that is the very reason why it’s so important to take a really close look at the things you have, what they really mean to you and why you are keeping them.
If you look really closely and are really honest with yourself, you will find that you have things that you are keeping because:
- You’re afraid to let them go ‘just in case’ you might need them again some day
- You spent a lot of money on something
- You have a lot of time and energy tied up in something
- Someone gave it to you and you’d feel guilty if you let it go
- It used to be important to you, although it no longer represents who you are and what you do now
These can be anything from books or magazines that you ‘might’ want to refer to, to course and program materials that you’ve invested a lot of time, energy and money in. It could be family gifts or something that’s been in the family for a long time that you don’t really like, want or use, but you’d feel guilty if you got rid of it. It could be something that you used to do – perhaps a hobby that you used to enjoy or an aspect of your business or career that no longer applies, or it’s simply an item of furniture or another object that was just very expensive to buy.
When you tell yourself any of the above reasons for keeping something, it can seem justified. You buy into the story that you can’t possible let it go because …… But if you’re really honest with yourself you would see that this isn’t the case at all and that none of these are truly valid reasons for keeping something.
It might help you to see it from the perspective of energy, because when you look at each of these reasons the energy you will see behind them is fear. You’re afraid to let these things go and so you allow your emotions to be tied up in them. What it really means is that keeping these things when you don’t really need, use, want or love them, will keep you stuck. The more you hold onto these things, the more you will push away other opportunities. Because by holding on to them you are creating distraction and you are holding on to the past, to what used to be, or even to what might be, you are not embracing the present and the future.
I have worked with people and the energy of their homes for 16 years and I have seen first-hand the impact of holding onto things that you don’t really need. This has been particularly brought home to me as I prepare to move again to a smaller space. I have worked with people who moved from a large house into a ‘temporary’ apartment, where they planned to stay only for a year or so until they were able to buy their own home. 5 or 10 years later, they are still there, surrounded by all their stuff – much of it still in boxes. Why has it taken so long? Why are they still stuck in their ‘temporary’ home? They stay there because they are holding on to so much stuff.
I know that by moving to a smaller home we’re being invited to let go of any and all distractions, both in terms of ‘stuff’ and in terms of people and situations that are no longer a good fit in our lives. If we try to take everything with us and not let go of as much as we can then we will be keeping ourselves stuck.
I won’t say it’s easy because it isn’t. I’ve already let go of a lot, since we only moved just over a year ago. At first I resisted letting go of more because I believed that there was nothing left for me to release. But if I’m honest I know that’s not true. So I’m embracing the challenge. I know the power of letting go and therefore I’m willing to embrace it. There is an art to it and the art is being honest with yourself, which isn’t always easy.Tweet
If you’ve been following along with my articles/blog posts on Embracing Change, you’ll be familiar with the situation that is unfolding for me around having to move house. You’ll know that we love the house that we’re renting, we love the neighborhood and yet we have to move because we’re renting and the owners are coming back to live here. You’ll also know that last week we found a house. This week I’m going to dig a little deeper into the meaning and opportunities coming up as we move forward.
As we are making arrangements for our move at the end of this month, I’ve obviously been thinking about the house that we’re moving to in terms of logistics – where we are going to put things, etc. The house is a not as spacious as this one and so it will be a bit of a challenge.
But far beyond the logistics of where everything is going to go, there is a deeper meaning here and that’s what I want to go over today, because, as you’ve probably heard me share before, your home can either sabotage you or support you. The home you are living in is perfect for you at this time and there’s a reason you’re living there. Since most people don’t understand this, I thought it would be helpful for me to share my experience so you can see how to apply this to your situation.
As I outlined in the Embracing Change series of articles, it’s important to keep noticing how you feel and what’s coming up for you. It doesn’t end just because we found the house we’re going to move to.
What I was noticing this week, after we paid the deposit on the house and are now ready to start the moving process, is that my energy was quite low around the whole moving event. I’m a person who likes to take action, as soon as I know what action to take, and I really wasn’t feeling like doing much of anything regarding the move. I didn’t know what this meant exactly, I just noticed it.
I also noticed that the focus of my thoughts was on the fact that the house is smaller than this one we are living in, and much smaller than the house we left in Idaho. Clearly this wasn’t sitting well with me and yet I knew from the minute I walked into the house that it was the right house for us. What did this mean? That’s what I wanted to find out.
I had a discussion with my friend Rebecca, who is very intuitive, and she told me she felt I was in denial about something. We talked about what it might be, but I couldn’t really come up with anything. Still, the conversation helped and I put my attention on what I might be in denial about.
The next day it came to me. If you’ve been on the Oceans of Possibility Cruise web page and listened to the recording where Liz shares her experience on last year’s cruise, you’ll have heard her mention one of the things I did on the cruise, which was to ask participants what they loved most and liked least about their home. I then was able to tell them what I felt this meant for them energetically, in terms of where they are in their life process and how the house represents that. That’s what I was asking myself about this house. Clearly, what I didn’t like is that fact that the house is smaller inside, what I love is that it overlooks a park and has great views, so it’s smaller inside and expansive on the outside.
I could go into detail, but that would make for an extremely long article, so let me just share this – what I realize is that this house for us is about narrowing our focus and letting go of distractions. We are being invited to release more, to let go of anything that is not truly important to us – this relates to possessions, but the larger meaning is in our life generally. We could try to take everything and fit everything in, but I know that if we do this it will keep us stuck. We will not be open to opportunities because we will be too attached to what we already have.
I hadn’t realized this before because we have already let go of a lot of stuff – we’ve moved several times and I always felt that we were really good about letting go of things. That’s what I was in denial about – it’s time to let go of more.
This is the power behind Feng Shui and understanding how the energy of your home is directly connected to you and your life. It’s what I teach, and it’s what I help others to see for themselves. Once I understood this about our move, I was really ready to embrace it. I realize that, although I had accepted the change, I hadn’t truly embraced it until now – I had to understand it fully to embrace it (that was more denial on my part). Now I’m excited and my energy is high. I’m busy thinking about what we are ready to release in preparation for our move. It’s a new chapter. It’s time to more focused than ever before.
I hope this makes sense for you, if it does, you may have a huge breakthrough just like I did. This is how self-awareness works. This is why it’s so important to be fully present. This is also why it’s helpful to talk things through sometimes with someone who understands, because it can be difficult to see your own stuff (even for me).Tweet