Divorce may not seem like a very positive or happy subject to talk about. However, if you’re in the middle of one or are even considering the possibility, it’s important to be informed and to know the best way to handle it to ensure that it happens as successfully and painlessly as possible for everyone involved – particularly if you have children. When I got divorced at the age of 25 I knew nothing abut the process or what I should or shouldn’t do to protect myself. I lost my house, was left with significant debt to repay and was just an emotional wreck with no support.
With that in mind, yesterday I interviewed Christina Rowe, author of Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce: What Every Woman Needs to Know. So if you, or someone you know is affected by divorce, there are some key things you need to be aware of.
The recording of the interview will be available for my members through the web site (www.harmonyinandout.com) but here is a brief summary of some of the key points that Christina shared:
- As difficult as it will be, you must keep emotion out of it. Find ways to handle the emotion (join a support group, talk to friends) but it’s important when dealing with the details of the divorce itself, to keep to the facts – particularly when dealing with attorneys, your ex-spouse or if you have to go to court.
- Make copies of all relevant paperwork. Make sure you know everything about your finances – bank accounts, investments, insurance and so on.
- Find out what the laws are in your State. Research on-line, talk to others who have gone through a divorce. Make sure you are informed.
- First try mediation. If your spouse is willing, mediation is the least costly, least painful way to go. Do research to find a good mediator in your area. Local attorneys may also be able to recommend a mediator.
- If you have to use an attorney, try to get a recommendation from someone else. Call around, speak to at least three. Ask questions like:
– How many of your cases go to court?
– How quickly are most cases resolved?
– What’s your success rate?
- Trust your instincts. Find an attorney you resonate with.
- Go for harmonious resolution, rather than revenge and try8ing to get everything you can. You want to move on with your life, not get locked into a never-ending battle.
These are just some of the great suggestions that Christina shared. She has many more in her book.
Most of all, if you are faced with a divorce, of course it feels horrible. But when you look back you will find that it probably was the best thing that could have happened. Your life will move on and you’ll find yourself doing things and meeting people you never would have experienced if you had stayed in that relationship. If it has come to divorce, then it’s what’s best for both of you. Trying to hang on to a dysfunctional relationship will not serve you.
I’d love to hear from you. Share your thoughts, comments and experiences. Members – share your experiences on the forum. If you’ve been through a divorce, it’s a great place to share tips that may help someone else.
Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce
TweetTags: Divorce, Life Balance, relationship stress, Relationships, Stress
Leave a Reply