At this time of year there are hearts and flowers everywhere you look. If you’re in a loving relationship perhaps this is a very happy, loving time. But if you’re not, you might just dread the month of February.
I have to wonder just how real it all is anyway. Does it really mean that my husband loves me more because he buys me a card and flowers for Valentine’s Day? I don’t think so. In fact, I’d rather he bring me a cup of tea in bed every morning just because he wants to (which he does). That says more to me than giving me a card and flowers because somebody, somewhere decided that February 14th was the day to do so.
I remember years ago when I worked in an office how, when Valentine’s Day rolled around it was almost like a competition between the female employees to see whose husband/partner loved them the most. Apparently, the husband/partner who went to the trouble of having flowers delivered to the office won more points than the one who simply purchased flowers and took them home. The more expensive the flowers, the more points they got – and if there was jewlry involved, well, then obviously that meant this particular person’s husband/partner loved them more than anything.
So if you don’t have a partner, take heart. It doesn’t mean that just because you have a partner everything in your relationship is wonderful. Does what I’ve described above seem even just a little bit fake to you? That’s because it is. So when everyone around you is talking about what their valentine got or did for them on their special day, don’t assume that everything in their life and relationship is wonderful and that you must be a failure because you have no-one to share the day with.
The true value of a relationship is what happens on every other day, not just Valentine’s day. Now, for those of you who don’t have a partner, if you are feeling particularly left out, here’s what I want you to do – something extremely special and loving for YOURSELF. But don’t just do it on February 14th, do it any day you choose – and do it regularly. Here are some suggestions:
- Buy yourself some flowers
- Go to see a movie, either by yourself or with a friend
- Pamper yourself at a spa
- Get a massage or get your nails or hair done
- Make yourself an excellent gourmet dinner, set the table and light the candles – just for yourself
- Give yourself a day off and read all day
- Give yourself a day off and do anything fun
- Get together with a friend and just spend the day talking and hanging out
- Make yourself a picnic and take it to the park
- Anything else fabulous that you can think of
The point is if you are in a relationship what happens on February 14th really doesn’t determine how great your relationship is or how much someone loves you. If you don’t have a relationship, February 14th should not make you feel unhappy at all. The person we should show the most love to, but we usually don’t, is ourselves. If you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else truly love you?
Ultimately, the message is this – don’t wait for someone else to treat you how you want to be treated. Do it for yourself, because you deserve it – whether you have an existing relationship or not.
Now – what I’d love to hear from you is what you do to show love and appreciation for yourself - not just on February 14th, but every day.
TweetTags: married, Relationship, relationship stress, Relationships, single, valentine's day
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