Overcoming Fear

No longer afraid of public speaking!

What are you afraid of? We all have fears of some kind, whether it’s fear of public speaking, heights, change, failure or success, there’s usually something that we’re afraid of. Sometimes we know what it is, but sometimes it’s buried deep within. This fear can be sabotaging us and holding us back, yet we never quite know why because it is so deeply buried.

People often tell me they can’t change something they’re afraid of. “It’s just who I am,” they say. Yet I know from experience that’s not true. I used to be so afraid of public speaking that nothing would have convinced me to stand up in front of a group of 2 people, let alone 2,000 and yet now I do it regularly. How can that be?

There are many other things I used to be afraid of or uncomfortable with, change for example,  and yet now I embrace change and actively move towards it.

To transform fear, it’s first important to realize that you have it, and secondly, realize how it’s holding you back. Fortunately for me, there have always been people in my life who saw things in me that I couldn’t see in myself. A boss I worked for many years ago obviously saw that learning to speak in public would improve my self-confidence tremendously. I don’t know how he saw this in me, but up until then I had successfuly avoided any situation where I would have to speak up in front of a group or even be the center of attention anywhere.

I worked in the Marketing department of a company and my boss sent some of his marketing executives on a presentation skill scourse. He decided to send me with them and I hated him for it at the time. I can’t describe to you how terrified I was. I wasn’t just uncomfortable with it, I was really terrified. But what, exactly was I afraid of? Many things I think, such as saying something wrong, appearing stupid, being ’seen’ (I liked to be invisible and work behind the scenes).

One of the worst things about this course, from my perspective, was that our presentations were video-taped so that all participants could offer feedback on each other’s presentations. You know how they say that many people fear public speaking more than they fear dying? That was me at that time. death seemed like a very welcome alternative to me at that point.

Initially I sat there, watching other people give their presentations and I was just dreading the time when they’d get round to me. Then something happened. One of my colleagues, a marketing executive I’d known for several years as very confident, charming and never at a loss for words, was giving one of his presentations. For some reason, on this occasion he stumbled over his words. He couldn’t think what to say. He stopped. He smiled and apologized. People muttered words of encouragement and then he continued and finished his presentation.

At that point I started to see things differently. Even though he had stumbled over his words and forgotten what to say, people didn’t ridicule him, they were supportive. He didn’t feel like a failure and nobody thought of him that way. He handled it with grace. I suddenly watched the other presentations in a new way. I realized that I could be at least as good as many of the people there. I started to have hope that I could actually do it without looking totally ridiculous. I did several presentations over the two day period of the course. I wasn’t the best, but I wasn’t the worst either. I survived. People still spoke to me. What had I been afraid of all those years?

I’ll never be a polished, put-together motivational speaker, but then I don’t want to be. I’m just me. when I stand in front of a group of people to make a presentation I focus on them and on the information I’m presenting to them. I make mistakes sometimes, the equipment might fail sometimes. It doesn’t matter. I can handle it.

How much energy did I waste by being afraid of speaking in front of people for so many years? A lot. Here’s the thing about fear – it’s not real. It’s something that we imagine. If I do this, then that might happen. What’s the worst that can happen anyway?

When you have fears that you don’t want to face, not only are you wasting energy by trying to suppress and hang on to those fears, but think of all the ways in which they are holding you back. All the things you’re not doing because you’re afraid. Do yourself a big favor – identify and face those fears now. Here are some tips to help you do so:

• Make a list of things you’re afraid of. This could include something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t done because something’s holding you back.
• Think about how much time, energy and opportunity you’ve wasted by hanging on to these fears.
• Pick one and decide to face it and let it go.
• Get support. Find others who wil lhelp you to overcome your fear. If there’s nobody you know who would support you, contact me. I know people who will support you.
• Take action. But always make sure you have supportive people around you when you do.

Many years ago my boss, Steve  (yes, the same one who made me go on the presentations skills course) sent our whole department on a outdoor team building course. You know, the kind where they give you some rope and a bucket and tell you to build a bridge across a stream – that type of course.

On the course I was the person most terrifed of heights. So when we did climbing and rapelling it was extremely hard for me, but I didn’t want to let the team down. On our last day, the course organizer made me climb blindfolded (yes, I said blindfolded) as you can see in this picture, he wrapped my scarf around my eyes. He had the rest of my team guide me to the top by telling me where to find the hand and foot holds in the rocks. Talk about trusting in your team!!

At first we all thought he was joking, but as you can see he wasn’t. This took my fear of heights to a whole new level.

As you can see, I made it. Now to all you rock climbers out there I know this isn’t very high – but I can tell you this was EXTREMELY high to me at the time.

I came away from this course knowing that I could overcome any fear that was holding me back and knowing that because of it, I could do anything that I wanted. If ever I feel afraid of doing something, I just have to look at these pictures to remind myself of what can be accomplished – when you have the right people to support you.

And for those of you who are wondering – I don’t hate Steve, my boss, any more. We’re good friends and I think he was the best boss ever.

When you finally do the thing you are most afraid of, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. There really is nothing to fear, except fear itself.

Step over the edge and overcome your fears (I was so scared when I did this, my team stood at the bottom telling me jokes all the way down – it helped a lot).

To learn more about Linda or to join her membership site at the Free, In-Balance or Full-Life Balance level, go to www.HarmonyInandOut.com.

Tags: Fear, Law of Attraction, Overcoming Fear, Stress