When you undertand yourself, and how you communicate, and also take the time to learn about other communication styles and personality types that are different from you, then you truly can communicate much more effectively – which makes life much easier for everyone. When we take the time to understand ourselves and others, all of our relationships and interactions improve.
Think about these two different styles: You like to take your time before making a decision. Carefully gathering data and facts so that your decision will be the right one, based on careful analysis of information. Nothing wrong with that. So why do some people get irritated with you and think you’re too slow? When they do, it causes you to withdraw. Or, you love to be in charge, to solve problems and get things done. You like to move quickly and get very irritated by people who waste your time, who talk too much or who take a long time to make decisions. Why do people seem to get upset when you’re just trying to get things done? They’re just too emotional.
These are two very different styles and they often drive each other crazy. Is there a way that they could ever work together? Some people like to take things slowly, other people like to move quickly, some love people and social situations, others prefer dealing with data and facts rather than people. We all have different communication styles and it can make life very difficult, both at home and at work.
One of the most popular personality profile assessments is known as the DISC Assessment. I don’t claim to be an expert in DISC analysis, but there is some basic information about the 4 personality styles that I think can be very helpful for everyone to understand.
According to DISC, there are 4 main personality types. We all have each of these styles within us, but we usually have 2 predominant ones. One is usually strongest, with the other being a close second. here is an introduction to those styles – see if you can identify yourself here:
- D (Direct, Decisive)
These people are concerned about results, that’s all that matters to them. They like to be in charge, hate being told what to do and get bored (and angry) easily. They tend to make decisions quickly and become very impatient with people who waste their time by doing too much talking or planning. They can be very blunt, to the point of being rude and can often hurt people’s feelings. - I (Influence, Image)
These people are very outgoing, optimistic and charming. They love being around people and social situations. They love to communicate and enjoy meeting new people. They like people and also want to be liked. They don’t like rigid schedules or working by themselves. They hate to be left out. - S (Steady, Supportive)
This personality type is very loyal and supportive. They are good listeners and love to be part of a team. Their main goal is to help people. They avoid conflict and don’t like dealing with unexpected change. They are very patient and persistent and dependable. They don’t handle criticism well and don’t like being pressured to make decisions quickly or being judged unfairly. They like to be recognized for their loyalty and service. - C (Conscientious, Correct)
These are people who love facts and data. They like to be right and will research every aspect of a situation and consider every detail before making a decision. They have a reputation for being accurate and logical. They love systems and procedures and are always looking for what could go wrong. They don’t like to deal with sudden change and prefer to work alone. They are sticklers for details and always read the fine print.
As you can see, each of these personality types is different and you can probably recognize your own personal style. It’s also easy to see how conflict and miscommunication can occur. What if you get irritated with your spouse because he takes too long to make a decision and you feel he analyzes everything to death? Once you understand that he is probably a ‘C”and hates to be rushed into making decisions and likes to consider all of the facts first, perhaps you could start to present your ideas or situations ahead of time and leave him time to think it over. He would feel that you value his analysis of the situation and would come to a decision in his own time. Neither of you would feel stressed or get irritated with each other.
The truth is that each of the personality types has their strengths and each has their challenges. We need every one of these different styles. Just try getting a project completed if you don’t have a ‘D’ on your team. Without them you might just spend a lot of time talking about what you want to do, but not actually doing anything. And you don’t want to dismiss a ‘C’ as being too negative when they talk about the things that could go wrong in a project or situation. Without them you could find yourself dealing with unexpected crises because you hadn’t considered all posibilities.
There’s obviously a lot more to this, but I encourage you to take the time to learn your style, your unique combination of attributes and how you like to communicate, but also take the time to learn about the other styles. That way when you come across someone who starts to irritate you or frustrate you, think about where they’re coming from and what their personality type is – that can help you to react in a much different way and make life easier and less stressful for everyone.
If you’d like to listen to a recording of our recent tele-seminar on Personality Types, here is the link:
http://www.harmoniouslifechoices.com/replay.htm
You’ll also have the opportunity to take the DISC assessment for yourself and to join us on a webinar on March 26th with DISC expert, Jim Stephens.
TweetTags: Communication, Communication Styles, Personality Assessment, Personality Styles
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