Asking for Help

Why is it so difficult to ask for help or to ask for what we want? Often I think it’s because we don’t want to appear weak or not capable. Or we just feel that we should be able to do it all, or that we don’t want to bother people.

Someone was telling me recently about her frustrations with her dear friend, Susan. She is the kind of friend who is always there for you. She’ll help out anybody, any time. Susan is the kind of friend you really love and appreciate. But Susan is having a difficult time right now. She is undergoing treatment for cancer, she has severe arthritis, is overweight and is struggling to walk because of a hip replacement that was not done properly.

I know that in Susan’s mind she doesn’t want to be a burden. She doesn’t want to put her friends out and be an inconvenience. That’s understandable. But I think that Susan is missing something very important. She is, in fact, depriving her friends of the opportunity to help her, to do something for her when she has done so much for them. They don’t want to be paid, they want to help, but she won’t let them. By not wanting to ‘use’ them or take advantage of them, she is, in fact, hurting them.

I know she doesn’t realize this and I think that if she really knew what she was doing, she’d be very upset. But how do her friends make her understand or hear this truth?

Do you ask for help when you need it? Do you allow others to support you? Or do you think you have to do it all by yourself, and struggle in the process? I confess that I used to be that way. I used to find it difficult to ask for help and would struggle to do everything myself. If others offered to help me, I would always decline – in my mind I didn’t want to bother them, because I was sure they had far more important things to do, and I felt that it was my responsibility to do it all myself. Until one day, a friend lovingly pointed out to me how I was depriving people of the opportunity to support me. She also pointed out that I was, in fact, being very arrogant – because I, like Susan, would always offer to help and support others, but wouldn’t let them do the same for me. At first I was horrified, because that was not my intent, but I began to see that it was true.

Now, I don’t hesitate to ask for help when I need it and to turn to others for support. I also encourage others to do the same. And what a blessing and a relief it is to know that I don’t have to do everything myself, that there are always people who can support me. Whether it’s a friend, family, a coach, or a mastermind group, support is all around me, just as it is for you – if you’re willing to accept it.

I encourage you to think about where you need help and support in your life and to ask for it. Allow others to help you and you will, in fact be helping them in the process.

Yes, we can accomplish a lot by ourselves, but how much more can we accomplish when we join forces with others? A lot – and, it’s a lot more joyful and less stressful. You’ll also find that, the more you’re open to accepting help and support from others, the more the help will just show up when you need it – without even having to ask.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Tags: Law of Attraction, Life Balance, Stress