This week’s tele-seminar was focused on our romantic relationships. It was based on the book ‘Feng Shui for Your Relationships’ (chapter 7, Page 39). On this call we discussed how we can learn a lot from the relationships that we have, as well as the relationships that we don’t have, but would like.
Whether you want to attract the perfect relationship into your life, transform your current relationship so that it is closer, more intimate and loving, or re-kindle a relationship that you have lost, the same information applies. We need to look first at ourselves, then at what has happened or continues to happen so that we can learn from it. We need to know what we want, set our intention and do the right things to make it happen. So how exactly do we do that?
There were 8 steps that I covered in the tele-seminar, let’s take a look at each of them:
1. Self – in order to have a good, close relationship with someone else, you must first know and be comfortable with yourself. You cannot truly love someone else and someone else cannot truly love you if you don’t love yourself first.
If you don’t currently have a romantic relationship but would like one, you cannot be looking for someone else to ‘complete’ you, or to fill some part of you that you perceive as empty or not perfect. You are whole and perfect just as you are and you must accept yourself as you are – if you don’t, how can somebody else?
If you search for a relationship based on needing something from the other person or feeling that you are not enough, you are immediately giving your power away to someone else. When you do that, the relationship cannot do anything else except ultimately make you unhappy. If you’re wondering why you constantly attract the ‘wrong’ people this is why.
The same thing applies if you already have a relationship but it is not everything you would like it to be. Instead of looking at the other person’s ‘faults’ and identifying everything that’s wrong with them and how they treat you as a reason for the relationship not working – look at yourself. Turn the mirror on to yourself. We teach others how to treat us so if you are not being treated in the way that you would like, what do you need to change about yourself to change the way you are treated?
Looking within and coming to terms with everything we think is not perfect about ourselves and realizing that we are enough just as we are can be a very difficult thing. But it is definitely the first step to creating a loving, healthy relationship with someone else – to have that with yourself first.
2. Learn from the past – what type of relationships have you had in the past? Is there a recurring theme to your relationships? Whatever you find or have found unsatisfactory about your relationships is not something that has happened ‘to you’, it is something that you create. It is something you can learn from. If you attract people who don’t treat you well, it’s because you don’t treat yourself well. Perhaps you feel you don’t deserve love or you have low self esteem and simply give your power away.
Whatever it is you don’t like about past relationships or what is happening now, I encourage you to ask what that situation is there to teach you. How can you learn from it? What do you need to change about you for things to be different? Don’t make it all about the other person – make it about you and what you learn. Understanding these patterns can help you identify the negative beliefs and emotions that have created the relationships you have or have had in your life.
3. Know what you want – you must be clear about what it is that you want in a relationship. How do you want to be treated? What kind of person or relationship are you looking for? Whether you have a relationship or not, you need to be clear on this. If you are in a relationship, what is happening now that you don’t like? What do you want it to look like? How do you want things to be?
You’ll never get what you want if you’re not clear about what that is – it’s time to get clear.
4. Set your intention – Once you know what you want, you can set an intention. I see this as basically ‘claiming’ what you want and what you deserve to have. This is the key to the next step.
5. Know what action to take – once you have set your intention you have to identify what actions to take. Since my specialty is Feng Shui, I focus in this tele-seminar on what you can do in your home to help the energy around your relationships. Working with your home to bring you the relationship you want.
6. Take action – when you have identified what needs to be done (for example, de-cluttering the bedroom, or working with your relationship area) then you need to take the action. Do what you can as soon as you can. Once you have set your intention and identified what to do – do it.
7. Be open – once you have started changing the energy in your home you need now to be open to what comes. It may not always happen in the way that you expect. If you do the steps outlined above and then just sit back and wait for Mr. Right to show up on your doorstep, you may be missing out. What if a friend suddenly invites you to an event that you wouldn’t normally feel like going to? Go. You might meet your ideal mate at that event. Be open to what comes and be open to the fact that it might not always be what you expect.
8. Review – the final step is to constantly review your intention, what you want, and yourself. As you go through this process things will change. You will change. It is important to always stay clear on what you want and just be aware that it can change. Keep track of what happens as you go through this process.
This is an overview of what we covered in the call. The recording is available for Feng Shui Success MasterMind members in the member’s area.
Remember, the key to getting what you want in a relationship is the same as any other area of life – it’s awareness. Awareness of yourself, what’s happening, what you want to happen, what you need to change, and what happens as a result of that change. Be open to what comes, but first be clear about what you want.
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