Last week I talked about ways to cultivate your inner Feng Shui. Things you could do for yourself to help you become (and stay) peaceful, calm and grounded. But as well as doing things that are good for you, it is important to be aware of the things that drain your energy and avoid or eliminate them when you can.
What drains your energy? We all have things that drain us, and it can be different for everyone. For example, many people are energized when they are in a large group of people, at a party or networking for instance. I know that when I have been in a situation like that, around a lot of people, I have to have a very quiet day the next day because being around the energy of lots of people can be overwhelming for me. If I did it every day (as I have done in the past) I would soon become burned out (as I have done in the past). So it’s all about knowing what nourishes you and what drains you.
During the Wealth Attraction Challenge that we’ve been doing since the beginning of May, one of the things that came up was identifying those people in your life who support and energize you and those people who drain you and who are not supportive. We had a lot of discussion around this issue because some of the very people who are not supportive and who drain your energy may feature very prominently in your life. They may be family members or close friends whom you’ve known for a long time. This, of course, can create a dilemma.
How do you limit your interactions with these people without feeling guilty about it? There’s no doubt about it, this is very difficult to do, but it is also essential to do it. You might think that you’re being selfish if you tell a family member or close friend that you don’t want to spend time with them. You’ll be afraid that they will think badly of you. Yet, you start to dread the times when you’ll be seeing or speaking to them. As they are talking to you, you can almost feel your energy draining away – it’s like your very life force is being sucked out of you, and in reality, it is.
The truth is, that by putting yourself and your needs first by limiting the time you spend with them, you are not being selfish at all. You are actually helping them as well, although it may not seem like it at the time. But how does it help them if you allow them to drain your energy? How does it help them if you dread spending time with them? Breaking away from them may in fact be the best thing you could do for them, because it may just cause them to look at themselves more closely and want to change. You then become a guiding light for them because as you change and grow, becoming more confident, successful and peaceful within yourself, they may just want that for themselves too.
The same applies to life situations that we stay in, even though they drain us and don’t feel right for us. Everything from relationships to jobs, to groups or boards we belong to. They may once have felt right, but now you know they no longer do, yet you can’t seem to break away. Or you may want to break away but the others involved persuade you that you should stay. If you stay when you know it’s not right it will drain you and you will feel miserable, and stuck.
The most important thing is to pay attention to how you feel when you’re around different people and situations. Trust yourself and focus on putting yourself first by knowing what is right for you – what works for you and what doesn’t. When you do this, as I said before, it can seem selfish on the surface. But in reality it’s just the opposite. It’s the best thing you can do for everyone concerned. You’ll not only be helping yourself, you’ll be helping others move forward.
As you start to do this it is crucial that, as well as disconnecting yourself from people and situations that drain you and do not support you, you actively seek out and spend time with those people and in those situations that do energize and support you. Being miserable, unhappy and having low energy doesn’t serve anyone. When you feel energized, supported and happy you serve everyone.
Tags: Feng Shui Balance, Feng Shui Home, Feng Shui Life, Feng Shui Success, Life Balance
June 3rd, 2010 at 10:06 pm
Wow, talk about synergy and hittig right on target. Thank you, Linda, for your excellent tools. Today is my birthday, and as my present to myself, I gave 3-month notice to the “best job I never wanted to have” here in Boise where I grew up, so we can move back to Washington to help my in-laws. For over a year we’ve been saying we need to move back to Washington State, and the Universe just gave us a serious shove that it is past time. Mark’s parents are no longer able to care for their “God’s Acre”, so it is now our turn to step in back in Washington as we did my parents here in Boise 17 years ago. The 30-Day Wealth Attraction has been a great guide to help me journal in parallel with these changes. It seems that the more I open myself to bring in positive & supportive energy & people, the more they fall into my life as meant to be.
Please keep your positive support and energy flowing. Thank you!
June 4th, 2010 at 6:24 am
Hi Jan,
Congratulations on realizing what you really wanted to do and for having the courage to do it. You are so right that when you start focusing on positive people and situations and start seeing what is in your life already that is positive it just brings more great people and situations to you.
Now you can leave behind something that has been draining you and move into something that truly supports your energy. Well done, and Happy Birthday – what a fabulous birthday present to give to yourself!