Relationship Delight

Love is one of the most talked about, sung about, written about and sought after aspects of life.  And yet very few of us experience the joy and excitement we’d like and that is possible in relationship.  Why is that?

Could it be that we never really learned how to go about loving another in a way that honors and appreciates the differences between women and men so they actually enhance the dating, relationship, intimacy and fun?  Is it that simple?

Yes.  It’s that simple.

We are sent to school to learn all sorts of things to help us succeed in life:  writing, arithmetic, science, history, physical education, etc.

For relationships, though, we rely solely on our home experience, what we witness one or both of our parents doing with others as they date and or live in their relationships and marriages.  What did you learn?  What was demonstrated to you?  Importantly, what are you living today?

Women and men are fundamentally different.  We are not broken versions of one another.  We are different.  To be fair, when we were young we displayed those differences and we even implicitly knew them.  Think back on what you played as a child.  When asked men typically list out a variety of sports (football, basketball, baseball) along with things like cops & robber or bicycle racing.  Women also mention competitive sports (softball, volleyball, basketball) along with dolls, stuffed animals and house.

Here’s what we know:  boys play competition while girls play relationship.  And therein lies one of the root differences that plays out again and again in our relationships with one another.  Think about it.  Boys always keep score, even if they are only keeping track of who can spit the farthest or hit the sign post the most times with a rock.  It matters who wins.  They want to win, even if it means beating their best friend.  And, there’s nothing personal about it.  After the game, win or lose, they are all friends. (Women, ask a trusted man about this.)

Girls keep score when they play sports too, and they want to win. However, they also care about whom they are playing with and how those dynamics are going.  They want to win and have a great experience with their teammates.  And it is personal. Their games of house or dolls or stuffed animals (or even sports) invariably are all about how the different characters involved relate to one another.They play relationships with so many nuances that it boggles the male mind.

Believe it or not, this is all very good news for women and men seeking a relationship or in relationship. These differences and many more, can actually enhance your experience of each other and your appreciation of one another—when understood.  Most often, though, they tend to confuse us, at best, and frustrate each person, at worst.

We can help.  There are only a few things to know and live and we cover them all in our 4-week teleseminar Getting the Love You Want & Deserve.  You’ll learn about love language differences, the best of men and how to elicit it, the complexity of women and how to navigate it plus how to have your physical environment support the relationship you are seeking or already have.  We are about going forward with energy & delight, not about what’s gone wrong.  Join us for one or all the sessions, beginning Thursday, July 15 via phone and/or web.  Detailed course descriptors at: Getting the Love You Want and Deserve

by Carolyn Casey,  Relationship and Gender Expert