It is true that people often think they are not supposed to feel the so-called ‘negative’ emotions. So they stifle them, avoid them or just feel that they should think only ‘happy’ thoughts. But none of these techniques work – they simply push the feelings away where they continue to affect you, building up over time and draining your energy until the result is depression or health problems or some more serious life situation.

When something happens to you that causes you to feel angry, sad, unhappy, frustrated, etc., there are several things you can do that will help:

Acceptance – first of all it is most important to accept how you feel. Rather than trying to stifle or eliminate the feeling, as uncomfortable as it may be, you must acknowledge it and acknowledge what has created this in you. When you accept it and allow yourself to feel it fully, it loses its strength. The first step to letting these feelings go is to allow yourself to feel them, not to try to deny them or not feel them.

Journaling – writing about what you’re feeling, about the situation and the circumstances around it can really help you to move past it and to understand it on a deeper level. This is a wonderful way of tapping into your sub-conscious, of moving beyond the immediate situation and how you feel about it and uncovering what’s behind it.

Look for the lesson – every situation, particularly those that are uncomfortable, offer opportunities for growth. When you actively look for the learning experience, rather than simply focusing on the negativity of the situation, not only can it help you to move beyond it faster, it helps you to move from feeling like a victim of the situation, making you feel more empowered.

Ask for help – don’t try to get through it by yourself. Talking to others helps to release the burden of how you feel. If you have the opportunity to talk to someone who has been through a similar situation you can learn from their experiences. It can also be most helpful to consult Healers, coaches, counselors or therapists – anyone who has the skill and knowledge to help you on a professional level. There is no weakness or shame in asking for help. There is strength in allowing others to help us.

Take care of yourself – it is important to be gentle with yourself at times like this. Don’t expect too much. Do things that make you feel good, get a healing massage, read an uplifting book, give yourself time to reflect, be still and recover, rather than simply trying to push through or work harder so you don’t have to think about it.

Change the energy in your home – since you and your home are so closely connected, any changes you make to the energy in your home have a direct and immediate impact on your own energy. Here are a few examples:

• Purge – pick an area in your home and remove items from it that you no longer need, use, want or love. Removing items that no longer have current value helps to free up your energy, as well as making the space for new and positive people and experiences to come into your life.

• Organize – nothing makes you feel better than de-cluttering and organizing. It’s one of the fastest ways to uplift your energy and will benefit you much more than simply making the space look nice.

• Move things around – move some furniture, change out accessories or pictures. Sometimes just moving the energy around in your home can be just what you need to give your energy and your life a much needed boost.

• Introduce color – this can also have an immediate impact on how you feel. Choose vibrant, rich colors, such as red, to energize you or calm, soothing colors, such as blue or green to bring calm energy. Choose colors that you love and that make you feel really good.

• Treat yourself and your home – buy a special item that you love for your home. It could be a piece of furniture or a painting, or it could be as simple as new dinnerware or a special cup for you to have your daily cup of tea or coffee. Honoring yourself in this way with something that you love can give you and your home a much-needed boost and help you realize that you deserve the best.

These are some simple ways to help you through those times in life that don’t feel so good. Since they are a fact of life and you know you will go through them from time to time, it’s best to be prepared and know that you have the tools available to help you.

Linda Binns

Everyone’s life seems to be so busy and full these days, that it’s difficult to remember to take time for relaxation, for fun, for enjoyment – for you. Bringing more joy and fun into your life and doing things that are good for you doesn’t have to be difficult, and it doesn’t have to be time-consuming either. Here are some very simple ways to change things up a little:

Treat yourself to wonderful food (I don’t mean chocolate). Go out for a really special meal, or take the time to find a fabulous recipe (these are easy to find on-line) and enjoy the process of shopping and preparing the meal. Use a tablecloth and candles and soft music – make it a special occasion.

Allow yourself some time to listen to your favorite music – just listen to it. Don’t do anything else while you’re listening. Or go to a concert with friends. Let yourself really feel the music, let it uplift you.

Arrange a get-together with your closest friends. Don’t make it something where you have to do a lot, just enjoy their company. Relax with them.

Do something fun. What is fun to you? When was the last time you did it? Make it something silly and enjoyable and time-wasting. Allow yourself to be silly for a while. Whether it’s a visit to the water park or playing lawn tennis in the back yard or spending time with a coloring book and crayons, give yourself permission to have fun.

Bring some color into your life by painting a wall or two, or hanging a colorful poster or picture or accessories.

Bring fresh cut flowers or vibrant, colorful plants into your home – bringing nature indoors has a very uplifting impact on your energy.

Treat yourself to a makeover. Get a new hairstyle, get your make-up done, or treat yourself to some new clothes or a day at the spa.

Buy yourself something special. It doesn’t have to be something expensive, it could be a beautiful cup to have your daily tea or coffee in, or a book that you’ve been wanting to read, or a new pair of shoes.

With so much going on in our lives these days, it’s so easy to lose sight of ourselves and to lose the joy in life. If you take time to do something special for yourself – particularly if you do this every day – you will start to reclaim the joy in life, the joy in just being you. Take this list and add to it. Keep it near you and every day pick one thing you can do for that day. When you honor yourself in this way, you acknowledge that you deserve to enjoy your life, that you deserve the best, that you can open yourself up to live your best life. The only question then becomes, how much good are you willing to receive in your life?

Could you use a little more abundance in your life? Check out the amazing 30-Day Wealth Attraction Challenge.

What drains your energy? We all have things that drain us, and it can be different for everyone. For example, many people are energized when they are in a large group of people, at a party or networking for instance. I know that when I have been in a situation like that, around a lot of people, I have to have a very quiet day the next day because being around the energy of lots of people can be overwhelming for me. If I did it every day (as I have done in the past) I would soon become burned out (as I have done in the past). So it’s all about knowing what nourishes you and what drains you.

During the Wealth Attraction Challenge that we’ve been doing since the beginning of May, one of the things that came up was identifying those people in your life who support and energize you and those people who drain you and who are not supportive. We had a lot of discussion around this issue because some of the very people who are not supportive and who drain your energy may feature very prominently in your life. They may be family members or close friends whom you’ve known for a long time. This, of course, can create a dilemma.

How do you limit your interactions with these people without feeling guilty about it? There’s no doubt about it, this is very difficult to do, but it is also essential to do it. You might think that you’re being selfish if you tell a family member or close friend that you don’t want to spend time with them. You’ll be afraid that they will think badly of you. Yet, you start to dread the times when you’ll be seeing or speaking to them. As they are talking to you, you can almost feel your energy draining away – it’s like your very life force is being sucked out of you, and in reality, it is.

The truth is, that by putting yourself and your needs first by limiting the time you spend with them, you are not being selfish at all. You are actually helping them as well, although it may not seem like it at the time. But how does it help them if you allow them to drain your energy? How does it help them if you dread spending time with them? Breaking away from them may in fact be the best thing you could do for them, because it may just cause them to look at themselves more closely and want to change. You then become a guiding light for them because as you change and grow, becoming more confident, successful and peaceful within yourself, they may just want that for themselves too.

The same applies to life situations that we stay in, even though they drain us and don’t feel right for us. Everything from relationships to jobs, to groups or boards we belong to. They may once have felt right, but now you know they no longer do, yet you can’t seem to break away. Or you may want to break away but the others involved persuade you that you should stay. If you stay when you know it’s not right it will drain you and you will feel miserable, and stuck.
The most important thing is to pay attention to how you feel when you’re around different people and situations. Trust yourself and focus on putting yourself first by knowing what is right for you – what works for you and what doesn’t. When you do this, as I said before, it can seem selfish on the surface. But in reality it’s just the opposite. It’s the best thing you can do for everyone concerned. You’ll not only be helping yourself, you’ll be helping others move forward.

As you start to do this it is crucial that, as well as disconnecting yourself from people and situations that drain you and do not support you, you actively seek out and spend time with those people and in those situations that do energize and support you. Being miserable, unhappy and having low energy doesn’t serve anyone. When you feel energized, supported and happy you serve everyone.

Having created a magazine with the name ‘Calm Space’, you might expect that Karen is someone who loves to sit and meditate and who is very calm herself. Yet that’s not the case. Karen admits that she finds it very difficult to sit still and calm her thoughts. She gives some great tips on how to do ‘active meditations’ for those of you who do find it difficult to meditate and be still. The good news is – you don’t have to be still to meditate!

After talking with Karen I think what makes her site unique is that she doesn’t just provide information – she encourages and helps people to take action. I knew right away that’s why I was drawn to her and to the Calm Space. You might think that the key to your life becoming less chaotic, to you having everything figured out and feeling peaceful inside is to just become calm, but that’s not it at all. As Karen says “nothing happens if nothing happens.” In other words, you have to take action if you want things to change. You’ll never become calm if you don’t take action to get there.

And what does being calm mean anyway? It simply means to quiet the mind. It doesn’t mean to do nothing. Calmness and peace come when the mind stops working overtime. We create our own stress by constantly thinking and worrying and analyzing a situation. With our constant ‘what if…?’ questions.

All the information in the World will not help you if you are not willing to act upon it. So often people complain about the way things are, they say they want things to change and yet, when provided with the information or action steps that can help them, they do nothing. Sometimes it’s easier to say this is the way things are and there’s nothing I can do about it, which is victim thinking, rather than admitting that the responsibility to change things is yours.

The only way you can change your life situation is to first change yourself. Admittedly, that’s not always easy to do, and it’s certainly not comfortable to do, but it is necessary if you want anything in your life to change.

People often turn to Feng Shui because they want things in their life to change, and they see it as a potentially easy solution. “If I just hang a wind chime in my wealth area more money will come.” Yet what they don’t realize is that their home is simply a reflection of them. The reason Feng Shui is so powerful is because it helps you change what’s going on internally. But you don’t have one without the other. The reason Feng Shui works is because it helps you change yourself.

I think that probably the reason many people resist taking action to change themselves is fear. They’re afraid of what they’ll find, or afraid of the pain that will be uncovered. And it’s true, as you work on yourself to change your beliefs and unhealthy emotions you may well uncover things about yourself that you don’t like, and some of the old emotions may be painful to let go of. But what I do know for certain is that if you try to ignore them and keep them buried, they will not only continue to affect you and everything that you do, but your life situations will get progressively worse and your mind will feel more chaotic until you do deal with them.

So if you’re hesitant to take action it’s important to know as you do this work that support is out there. People like Karen are creating support systems where you can learn the information you need to help you change and grow, and learn from others who have been through what you’re going through. When you share what you’re feeling and going through, you help others who are going through the same thing, and you allow others to be able to reach out and support you.

I thank Karen for taking time to talk with me, despite just getting over the flu and having a nasty cough – but then she’s an action-taker, she wouldn’t let a little thing like the flu keep her down!

I read an article recently on ‘The Calm Space’ written by our dear friend Dierdre ‘Dee’ Le Blang from Australia, which really got me thinking about music in a different way. Just as you can look back at all the homes you’ve lived in throughout your life and see them from the Feng Shui perspective of how they related to what was going on in your life at the time, you can also look back at the music you liked and listened to at various times in your life.

I’m sure you often hear a song that takes you back to a certain time in your life and all the memories come flooding back to you vividly. In the same way that objects in our home can uplift us with positive memories and associations or drain us with negative ones, the same is true of music. I had never thought of it in this way before. Dee wrote about The Soundtrack to the Journey of My Life, describing the music that has influenced her in her life and even put together a playlist – what a wonderful idea.

So as you look back on your life, wouldn’t it be interesting to put together the soundtrack of your own life? Of course, for the purposes of enhancing your inner chi and creating positive Feng Shui, I would ask you to focus most intently on those tracks that elicit positive memories and feelings. The song that you used to hear over and over as you were going through a nasty divorce is not necessarily the type of thing you want to re-live! Although that too can tell you a lot about how far you’ve come. I heard a song on the radio the other day that took me back to one of the most challenging times in my life, when my husband had left me, I had very little money, was in debt and about to lose my house. I can remember hearing that song back then and crying my eyes out as I felt sorry for myself and my life situation.

Now though, as I heard the song again, I felt no emotion. It was just a song that reminded me of that time in my life. Nothing more, nothing less. That may not sound like much, but I know that is REAL progress. When you can re-live those times of stress and struggle in your mind and no longer be attached emotionally to them, that’s a very liberating thing. It makes you realize how far you have come – it certainly did for me.

Thanks do Dee’s article I’m not only more aware of the music that accompanied the various stages of my life, but I’m paying much more attention to the music I choose to listen to now and why. When I have a job that I don’t like to do, for example, such as organizing the papers in my office or cleaning out the garage, I like to listen to something very up-beat – Latin American music is perfect because it gets me moving and makes me feel positive as I do the jobs I dislike. There are songs that I feel so intensely they move me to tears and I just have to stop what I’m doing to listen – such as ‘Let me Fall’ sung by Josh Groban or ‘Angel’ by Sarah McLachlan. There are times when I crave classical music and times when I love New Age or Spiritual music.

Just as your homes say a lot about you and what is going on in your life, it’s clear that the music you listen to does the same thing. It impacts your energy and can reflect how you feel at this moment. But it also has the ability to change your energy instantly – when you’re feeling angry or sad, listening to music that inspires and uplifts you can change that state right away.
Thank you Dee for helping me to think about music a little differently. I now see it more holistically and energetically – and that helps me to enjoy it even more.

What is the soundtrack of your life?

Challenge yourself! Join the people who are making things happen with the 30-Day Wealth Attraction Challenge!

Although it may be hard to believe, these examples actually give clues as to how abundant you are or feel you are. They give clues to your ability to receive. If you have difficulty receiving – even when someone offers you a compliment or assistance, then you will find that many opportunities simply pass you by because you’re not ready (or willing) to receive them. Usually this is completely unconscious behavior on your part, but fortunately your every day behavior will tell you whether or not you do have difficulty receiving.

Another common scenario that I see all the time is when people say they want something – it could be help with something, or they want to know how to resolve a particular life situation, or they may want something very specific that they pray or ask for. They put out the intention for what it is that they want, but they can then sabotage themselves when it actually shows up. This can be because it shows up in a way that they don’t recognize or weren’t expecting – meaning they were attached to ‘how’ what they wanted was supposed to come or what was supposed to happen.

You’ve probably heard the story of the flood, but just to refresh your memory – a town was being threatened by flooding. Joe was a very devout man and so he prayed that he would be saved from the flood, that God would rescue him. As the waters were rising his neighbor came to him and suggested that they leave together to escape the flood. Joe knew that his prayers would be answered, so he declined the offer saying that God would rescue him. So his neighbor left. The waters continued to rise so high that Joe had to climb onto the roof. He continued to pray to God to rescue him. He believed in the power of prayer and he just knew that God would come and rescue him. So as he’s sitting up on the roof in the rain someone comes along in a boat and asks him to climb in and be rescued. No thank you he says, God is going to rescue me, I’ve prayed to him.

A police helicopter hovers overhead and they throw down a rope to Joe, asking him to grab hold of the rope. But he declines once again saying that he knows God will rescue him. In the end he drowns and as he arrives in heaven he asks why God didn’t rescue him. God’s reply – “who do you think sent the neighbor the boat and the helicopter?”

If you have difficulty receiving then all sorts of opportunities and solutions to your problems can show up but you won’t take advantage of them. One common example that I see frequently is when people are having money difficulties. They want a solution, what they think they need is more money. But then a solution may show up in the form of a book or a workshop that teaches them how to manage their money more effectively or how to change the way they may be doing things to make more of what they already have. They refuse the book or the workshop because they’re just expecting more money to show up without having to do anything for it, certainly without having to pay out money for the solution.

When you send out a message to the Universe that you want something, you will always receive an answer – but you have to release your attachment to HOW it shows up and you have to be open to recognizing the solutions when they do show up in ways you don’t expect. And you have to be willing to receive what shows up. If you cannot receive compliments or assistance when it is offered, or receive when someone offers to buy you a cup of coffee or lunch, or gives you an unexpected gift, then you will not be able to receive the bigger things that you want so badly.

So make a practice of gratefully receiving what is offered to you. If someone offers to help you, accept. If someone pays you a compliment, simply say ‘thank you.’ As simple as this may sound it can be transformational.

There are also some simple Feng Shui techniques that can help you with becoming better at receiving. The first is simply to create an environment that you love – that nurtures and supports you. If you don’t feel this way about your house right now, then start with your bedroom. Turn it into your personal sanctuary, a place that you love.

Another very powerful Feng Shui technique is to identify anything in your home that you don’t need, use, want or love – and remove it. Give it away, sell it, throw it away – whatever you need to do, but remove it from your environment. Remove anything that has negative memories and associations for you. By doing this you are creating the space for what you do want to come to you and you are honoring yourself by removing things that no longer serve you and keep your energy stuck.

Starting today, observe how you receive throughout the day. Even when someone offers you a smile or holds the door open for you – receive it gratefully. Being able to receive the ‘small’ things in life really does help to prepare you to be able to receive the ‘larger’ things.

Linda Binns

Sign up for the 30-Day Wealth Attraction Challenge to attract what you want into your life now.

Activities
Let’s start with the things that you do. If you’re like most people today you have a to-do list that’s a mile long. Sometimes people’s lists are so long they get overwhelmed just by looking at them and they may even become paralyzed by the thought of having so much that needs to get done.

I’d like to challenge you to take a good look at your list to see what you really need to do and what you could possibly let go of. A friend of mine taught me a really good system for evaluating a list – as you look through your list put a heart next to ( any items that you enjoy doing, put a $$ sign next to anything that makes you money. These are the things that you should focus on, because they benefit you in some way. Of course, if you have a heart sign and a $$ sign – you can put it to the top of the list!

Take a look at what’s left on your list – what could you let go of? What could you ask someone else to do for you? I’m sure if you’re honest that you don’t absolutely have to do all of the things that are on your list. Some of them could be passed to someone else and some perhaps don’t really need to be done at all. It’s amazing what you can eliminate when you have to.

Of course there may well be items on your list that you do have to do but you don’t enjoy them and they don’t bring you income, but you still have to do them. How urgent are they? Another technique is to mark the items on your list in terms of urgent (must be done right away), Important, but not urgent (must be done, but doesn’t have to be done immediately) and not important and not urgent – if it’s not important and not urgent then perhaps you can remove it.

The point is that you may have many things in your life that you’re doing because other people expect you to do them, even though you don’t particularly want to. You may be doing some things that cause you to feel resentment. There may be some things in your life that you’re doing because you’ve always done them, yet you don’t particularly want to be doing them any more, or you’d feel guilty if you stopped – let those go. If you’re really honest with yourself, I’m sure there are some activities that you can absolutely let go of.

Computer
When you’re de-cluttering your home, don’t forget your computer. It’s something that is often overlooked (I’m guilty of that myself) yet if you take a really good look you may find that your computer is full of stuff that you no longer need. I know mine is! Old e-mails, old files – things that are just taking up space. It’s just as important to pay attention to the space on your computer as it is to clutter in your home.

Emotional Clutter
This can certainly be a huge issue. What is emotional clutter? Anything that stops you from feeling calm and at peace. Emotions and feelings that stop you from enjoying life and appreciating what you have and who you are. Anything that says you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve, you’re not worthy. Any feelings of guilt or blame or judgment. Basically any feelings that are not good. If you don’t feel good very often try to get to the bottom of why that might be. What are the thoughts that go along with that?

This also ties back in to monitoring your thoughts – but your feelings, the emotions that you feel give you clues as to what limiting beliefs you may be hanging on to that do not serve you. Once you identify those beliefs you can change them or release them.

Ultimately, it’s important to be aware of what is taking up energy and space in your life. Whether it’s clutter in your environment, people who are not supportive, thoughts that are not positive, activities in your life that you don’t enjoy, old files on your computer or emotions that don’t feel good, all of these things take up energy and take up space. When you release them you allow that energy to return to you and you make space for the things you really want to come into your life. It’s very liberating.

So when you’re applying Feng Shui to your home, don’t forget all these other areas too. Working on your inner Feng Shui is just as important.

Share your thoughts or questions. We’d love to hear from you.

Linda Binns
The Feng Shui Success Strategist

Join the exclusive Feng Shui Success MasterMind community