It is true that people often think they are not supposed to feel the so-called ‘negative’ emotions. So they stifle them, avoid them or just feel that they should think only ‘happy’ thoughts. But none of these techniques work – they simply push the feelings away where they continue to affect you, building up over time and draining your energy until the result is depression or health problems or some more serious life situation.

When something happens to you that causes you to feel angry, sad, unhappy, frustrated, etc., there are several things you can do that will help:

Acceptance – first of all it is most important to accept how you feel. Rather than trying to stifle or eliminate the feeling, as uncomfortable as it may be, you must acknowledge it and acknowledge what has created this in you. When you accept it and allow yourself to feel it fully, it loses its strength. The first step to letting these feelings go is to allow yourself to feel them, not to try to deny them or not feel them.

Journaling – writing about what you’re feeling, about the situation and the circumstances around it can really help you to move past it and to understand it on a deeper level. This is a wonderful way of tapping into your sub-conscious, of moving beyond the immediate situation and how you feel about it and uncovering what’s behind it.

Look for the lesson – every situation, particularly those that are uncomfortable, offer opportunities for growth. When you actively look for the learning experience, rather than simply focusing on the negativity of the situation, not only can it help you to move beyond it faster, it helps you to move from feeling like a victim of the situation, making you feel more empowered.

Ask for help – don’t try to get through it by yourself. Talking to others helps to release the burden of how you feel. If you have the opportunity to talk to someone who has been through a similar situation you can learn from their experiences. It can also be most helpful to consult Healers, coaches, counselors or therapists – anyone who has the skill and knowledge to help you on a professional level. There is no weakness or shame in asking for help. There is strength in allowing others to help us.

Take care of yourself – it is important to be gentle with yourself at times like this. Don’t expect too much. Do things that make you feel good, get a healing massage, read an uplifting book, give yourself time to reflect, be still and recover, rather than simply trying to push through or work harder so you don’t have to think about it.

Change the energy in your home – since you and your home are so closely connected, any changes you make to the energy in your home have a direct and immediate impact on your own energy. Here are a few examples:

• Purge – pick an area in your home and remove items from it that you no longer need, use, want or love. Removing items that no longer have current value helps to free up your energy, as well as making the space for new and positive people and experiences to come into your life.

• Organize – nothing makes you feel better than de-cluttering and organizing. It’s one of the fastest ways to uplift your energy and will benefit you much more than simply making the space look nice.

• Move things around – move some furniture, change out accessories or pictures. Sometimes just moving the energy around in your home can be just what you need to give your energy and your life a much needed boost.

• Introduce color – this can also have an immediate impact on how you feel. Choose vibrant, rich colors, such as red, to energize you or calm, soothing colors, such as blue or green to bring calm energy. Choose colors that you love and that make you feel really good.

• Treat yourself and your home – buy a special item that you love for your home. It could be a piece of furniture or a painting, or it could be as simple as new dinnerware or a special cup for you to have your daily cup of tea or coffee. Honoring yourself in this way with something that you love can give you and your home a much-needed boost and help you realize that you deserve the best.

These are some simple ways to help you through those times in life that don’t feel so good. Since they are a fact of life and you know you will go through them from time to time, it’s best to be prepared and know that you have the tools available to help you.

Linda Binns

We’ve all had times like this. It feels as though everything is right with the world. You’re doing what you love, the quality of your work is high, and you feel a sense of accomplishment. So why can’t you feel like this all the time? What is it that can make everything fall into place one day and yet everything seems to be a struggle the next? What stops you from being in that flow?

I think it all boils down to awareness. When you are aware of how you feel, of what feels good and what doesn’t in each moment. When you honor what you feel in each moment and take action accordingly – that’s when you’re in the flow.

How many times have you ‘needed’ to do something because it’s on your list of things to do, yet you don’t feel like doing it at this particular time? Your heart is not in it. You’d rather take a nap or go for a walk, or do something else. But because it’s on your list and it needs to be done, you buckle down and do it. It’s a struggle. It takes longer than you had planned. Nothing seems to go right with it. You become frustrated, resentful. These are the kinds of things that can take up your whole day because as you attempt to accomplish the task, more issues come up that need to be resolved before you can complete it. This is what can turn a simple item on your to-do list into a nightmare.

This is when you’re not in the flow. You have something to do, but it doesn’t feel right to do it. Rather than paying attention to that, you force yourself to do it. It seems unthinkable that, when faced with things that you need to do that you could, instead do something that feels good to you at the time, such as take a nap or go for a walk. If you did that you’d never get anything accomplished, right?

Actually that’s not right. I too resisted this idea at first. If I had a list of things that needed to be done today, but I didn’t feel like doing any of them, I would force myself to do them. With the result that a list of things I planned to do today might end up taking me the whole week because of delays and difficulties, distractions and obstacles. What I have learned to do (and I warn you, this is not easy) is to only do something when it feels right to do it. So, for example, if I have to write an article for a publication and it’s due, say on Thursday. I will have it on my list at the beginning of the week and I might plan to write it on Monday. But on Monday, when I sit down to write it, I can’t think of what to write. I really don’t feel like writing it then. I can force myself to write it and it may take me the whole day. I wouldn’t feel good about it, I would feel frustrated with the amount of time and effort put into it and I probably wouldn’t feel good about the end result.

If I pay attention to how I feel though and honor that, I wouldn’t try to write the article on Monday. Each day I would check in with myself to see if it felt right to do the article yet. And I wouldn’t attempt it until I felt ready. This is the scary part, because I might not feel ready until Thursday morning. But here’s the difference. When I sit down to write the article on Thursday morning, it will simply flow. It will probably take me about 10 minutes to write. I will be happy with the result and I’ll get lots of positive feedback from it.

This is exactly what happens to me all the time. The more I pay attention to when it feels right to do something and when it doesn’t, the more in the flow I feel. That’s when things come effortlessly. Of course, our minds say that’s ridiculous. We have to be logical and structured, we can’t just do things when we feel like it.

But I encourage you to give it a try. Do it with small things at first and just see what a difference it makes. I have had times when I’ve had a whole list of things to do that when I look at it feels totally overwhelming. When I ‘check in’ with myself to see what I need to do first to get this list of things accomplished, I may get the feeling that I need to do something completely unrelated to anything on the list. Usually it will be something like go for a walk, or clean the kitchen, or tidy the papers in my office. Of course, my mind screams “are you crazy, how can you go for a walk when you have this list of things you need to do?” If I listen to my mind I will tackle the list and I will not be in the flow – that’s when it may take me the whole week to accomplish what’s on the list, and none of it will feel good.

When I pay attention to what I feel and do it, I find that I return to the list with completely different energy. In this way, the things on the list simply get done and I may easily breeze through everything on there in one day, instead of forcing the issue and taking much longer. I’ll feel good about what I’ve accomplished. My energy will be strong – I’m in the flow.

You can apply this not only to things on your to-do list than need to be accomplished, but with everything. Pay attention to how you feel about different people and situations. If something doesn’t feel good – it isn’t good for you at that time. If you force it, you will not be in the flow and you’ll experience struggle.

It’s all about energy and being aware of your energy and what you need in each moment to feel good. That’s when you’re in the flow. Next time you are in the flow, pay attention to exactly what’s happening. And then resolve to create more flow in your life. Unless of course you prefer the struggle!

Have you taken the 30-Day Wealth Attraction Challenge yet? See how you can attract more abundance into your life – go to www.FengShuiSuccess.com/challenge.htm

What drains your energy? We all have things that drain us, and it can be different for everyone. For example, many people are energized when they are in a large group of people, at a party or networking for instance. I know that when I have been in a situation like that, around a lot of people, I have to have a very quiet day the next day because being around the energy of lots of people can be overwhelming for me. If I did it every day (as I have done in the past) I would soon become burned out (as I have done in the past). So it’s all about knowing what nourishes you and what drains you.

During the Wealth Attraction Challenge that we’ve been doing since the beginning of May, one of the things that came up was identifying those people in your life who support and energize you and those people who drain you and who are not supportive. We had a lot of discussion around this issue because some of the very people who are not supportive and who drain your energy may feature very prominently in your life. They may be family members or close friends whom you’ve known for a long time. This, of course, can create a dilemma.

How do you limit your interactions with these people without feeling guilty about it? There’s no doubt about it, this is very difficult to do, but it is also essential to do it. You might think that you’re being selfish if you tell a family member or close friend that you don’t want to spend time with them. You’ll be afraid that they will think badly of you. Yet, you start to dread the times when you’ll be seeing or speaking to them. As they are talking to you, you can almost feel your energy draining away – it’s like your very life force is being sucked out of you, and in reality, it is.

The truth is, that by putting yourself and your needs first by limiting the time you spend with them, you are not being selfish at all. You are actually helping them as well, although it may not seem like it at the time. But how does it help them if you allow them to drain your energy? How does it help them if you dread spending time with them? Breaking away from them may in fact be the best thing you could do for them, because it may just cause them to look at themselves more closely and want to change. You then become a guiding light for them because as you change and grow, becoming more confident, successful and peaceful within yourself, they may just want that for themselves too.

The same applies to life situations that we stay in, even though they drain us and don’t feel right for us. Everything from relationships to jobs, to groups or boards we belong to. They may once have felt right, but now you know they no longer do, yet you can’t seem to break away. Or you may want to break away but the others involved persuade you that you should stay. If you stay when you know it’s not right it will drain you and you will feel miserable, and stuck.
The most important thing is to pay attention to how you feel when you’re around different people and situations. Trust yourself and focus on putting yourself first by knowing what is right for you – what works for you and what doesn’t. When you do this, as I said before, it can seem selfish on the surface. But in reality it’s just the opposite. It’s the best thing you can do for everyone concerned. You’ll not only be helping yourself, you’ll be helping others move forward.

As you start to do this it is crucial that, as well as disconnecting yourself from people and situations that drain you and do not support you, you actively seek out and spend time with those people and in those situations that do energize and support you. Being miserable, unhappy and having low energy doesn’t serve anyone. When you feel energized, supported and happy you serve everyone.

There are many ways that you can do this, and you will want to make sure that you are doing it regularly. Check in with your energy and how you’re feeling every day because how you feel relates directly to the results that you achieve in your life and the life situations you find yourself in. When your energy is balanced, your life will have flow to it. You’ll handle difficulties and challenges much more easily because you’ll be centered and grounded.

Here are some ideas for balancing your inner Feng Shui:

Personal Care – this involves doing nice things for yourself, taking care of yourself. Giving your body what it needs and can include things like:

• Getting a massage
• Giving yourself time to sit and read a book
• Going out to do something enjoyable, such as going to a movie
• Meditation
• Exercise
• Going for a walk
• Yoga, tai chi, etc.

Changing your thoughts – this means paying attention to what you’re thinking and noticing when your thoughts are not positive, are judgmental, or are not in alignment with what you want. For example, if you are working on developing a loving, healthy relationship with your spouse, but you constantly find yourself thinking about what they are not doing right, or the things they do that annoy you, you’ll sabotage your efforts. If you find yourself thinking those kinds of thoughts, you’ll want to change them to more positive ones – instead of focusing on what they’re doing wrong, focus on what they’re doing right, and on the things you love about them, rather than the things that irritate you.

Changing behavior patterns – you’ve heard the saying “if you keep doing the same things in the same way, you’ll keep getting the same results.” If the same or similar situations keep coming up for you, then there are some behaviors that you need to change. Stop and look at what the pattern has been around this issue. Instead of complaining about it, try to identify the beliefs that create the behavior. Is it a learned behavior? Something that goes way back to what you learned at school or from your parents? For example, if you are a chronic worrier, and you know that one of your parents was too, and you take after him or her, don’t think that it has to always be that way. You can change that pattern if you identify it and take the steps necessary to change it.

Keeping good company – Jim Rohn said that “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” It’s so true. If you want to create positive change, and if you want to feel better about yourself and your life, then you need to spend more time with positive, supportive, encouraging, uplifting people. Spending time with people who complain all the time, who drain your energy, who criticize or don’t offer you support will literally suck the life energy out of you. Spend time with people who energize you.

These are just some of the ways that you can develop and maintain good inner Feng Shui – a sense of peace, calm and balance. This, in turn will bring positive people and experiences into your life. When you encounter challenges you will face them in a calm and assertive way, you won’t let them knock you down.

So when working on Feng Shui, don’t just focus on the outer environment, work on your inner Feng Shui as well and you’ll be on the way to living a much more fulfilling and enjoyable life.

For more tips on living a more balanced life, you can sign up for a free 9-step e-course here.

Having created a magazine with the name ‘Calm Space’, you might expect that Karen is someone who loves to sit and meditate and who is very calm herself. Yet that’s not the case. Karen admits that she finds it very difficult to sit still and calm her thoughts. She gives some great tips on how to do ‘active meditations’ for those of you who do find it difficult to meditate and be still. The good news is – you don’t have to be still to meditate!

After talking with Karen I think what makes her site unique is that she doesn’t just provide information – she encourages and helps people to take action. I knew right away that’s why I was drawn to her and to the Calm Space. You might think that the key to your life becoming less chaotic, to you having everything figured out and feeling peaceful inside is to just become calm, but that’s not it at all. As Karen says “nothing happens if nothing happens.” In other words, you have to take action if you want things to change. You’ll never become calm if you don’t take action to get there.

And what does being calm mean anyway? It simply means to quiet the mind. It doesn’t mean to do nothing. Calmness and peace come when the mind stops working overtime. We create our own stress by constantly thinking and worrying and analyzing a situation. With our constant ‘what if…?’ questions.

All the information in the World will not help you if you are not willing to act upon it. So often people complain about the way things are, they say they want things to change and yet, when provided with the information or action steps that can help them, they do nothing. Sometimes it’s easier to say this is the way things are and there’s nothing I can do about it, which is victim thinking, rather than admitting that the responsibility to change things is yours.

The only way you can change your life situation is to first change yourself. Admittedly, that’s not always easy to do, and it’s certainly not comfortable to do, but it is necessary if you want anything in your life to change.

People often turn to Feng Shui because they want things in their life to change, and they see it as a potentially easy solution. “If I just hang a wind chime in my wealth area more money will come.” Yet what they don’t realize is that their home is simply a reflection of them. The reason Feng Shui is so powerful is because it helps you change what’s going on internally. But you don’t have one without the other. The reason Feng Shui works is because it helps you change yourself.

I think that probably the reason many people resist taking action to change themselves is fear. They’re afraid of what they’ll find, or afraid of the pain that will be uncovered. And it’s true, as you work on yourself to change your beliefs and unhealthy emotions you may well uncover things about yourself that you don’t like, and some of the old emotions may be painful to let go of. But what I do know for certain is that if you try to ignore them and keep them buried, they will not only continue to affect you and everything that you do, but your life situations will get progressively worse and your mind will feel more chaotic until you do deal with them.

So if you’re hesitant to take action it’s important to know as you do this work that support is out there. People like Karen are creating support systems where you can learn the information you need to help you change and grow, and learn from others who have been through what you’re going through. When you share what you’re feeling and going through, you help others who are going through the same thing, and you allow others to be able to reach out and support you.

I thank Karen for taking time to talk with me, despite just getting over the flu and having a nasty cough – but then she’s an action-taker, she wouldn’t let a little thing like the flu keep her down!

I read an article recently on ‘The Calm Space’ written by our dear friend Dierdre ‘Dee’ Le Blang from Australia, which really got me thinking about music in a different way. Just as you can look back at all the homes you’ve lived in throughout your life and see them from the Feng Shui perspective of how they related to what was going on in your life at the time, you can also look back at the music you liked and listened to at various times in your life.

I’m sure you often hear a song that takes you back to a certain time in your life and all the memories come flooding back to you vividly. In the same way that objects in our home can uplift us with positive memories and associations or drain us with negative ones, the same is true of music. I had never thought of it in this way before. Dee wrote about The Soundtrack to the Journey of My Life, describing the music that has influenced her in her life and even put together a playlist – what a wonderful idea.

So as you look back on your life, wouldn’t it be interesting to put together the soundtrack of your own life? Of course, for the purposes of enhancing your inner chi and creating positive Feng Shui, I would ask you to focus most intently on those tracks that elicit positive memories and feelings. The song that you used to hear over and over as you were going through a nasty divorce is not necessarily the type of thing you want to re-live! Although that too can tell you a lot about how far you’ve come. I heard a song on the radio the other day that took me back to one of the most challenging times in my life, when my husband had left me, I had very little money, was in debt and about to lose my house. I can remember hearing that song back then and crying my eyes out as I felt sorry for myself and my life situation.

Now though, as I heard the song again, I felt no emotion. It was just a song that reminded me of that time in my life. Nothing more, nothing less. That may not sound like much, but I know that is REAL progress. When you can re-live those times of stress and struggle in your mind and no longer be attached emotionally to them, that’s a very liberating thing. It makes you realize how far you have come – it certainly did for me.

Thanks do Dee’s article I’m not only more aware of the music that accompanied the various stages of my life, but I’m paying much more attention to the music I choose to listen to now and why. When I have a job that I don’t like to do, for example, such as organizing the papers in my office or cleaning out the garage, I like to listen to something very up-beat – Latin American music is perfect because it gets me moving and makes me feel positive as I do the jobs I dislike. There are songs that I feel so intensely they move me to tears and I just have to stop what I’m doing to listen – such as ‘Let me Fall’ sung by Josh Groban or ‘Angel’ by Sarah McLachlan. There are times when I crave classical music and times when I love New Age or Spiritual music.

Just as your homes say a lot about you and what is going on in your life, it’s clear that the music you listen to does the same thing. It impacts your energy and can reflect how you feel at this moment. But it also has the ability to change your energy instantly – when you’re feeling angry or sad, listening to music that inspires and uplifts you can change that state right away.
Thank you Dee for helping me to think about music a little differently. I now see it more holistically and energetically – and that helps me to enjoy it even more.

What is the soundtrack of your life?

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Although it may be hard to believe, these examples actually give clues as to how abundant you are or feel you are. They give clues to your ability to receive. If you have difficulty receiving – even when someone offers you a compliment or assistance, then you will find that many opportunities simply pass you by because you’re not ready (or willing) to receive them. Usually this is completely unconscious behavior on your part, but fortunately your every day behavior will tell you whether or not you do have difficulty receiving.

Another common scenario that I see all the time is when people say they want something – it could be help with something, or they want to know how to resolve a particular life situation, or they may want something very specific that they pray or ask for. They put out the intention for what it is that they want, but they can then sabotage themselves when it actually shows up. This can be because it shows up in a way that they don’t recognize or weren’t expecting – meaning they were attached to ‘how’ what they wanted was supposed to come or what was supposed to happen.

You’ve probably heard the story of the flood, but just to refresh your memory – a town was being threatened by flooding. Joe was a very devout man and so he prayed that he would be saved from the flood, that God would rescue him. As the waters were rising his neighbor came to him and suggested that they leave together to escape the flood. Joe knew that his prayers would be answered, so he declined the offer saying that God would rescue him. So his neighbor left. The waters continued to rise so high that Joe had to climb onto the roof. He continued to pray to God to rescue him. He believed in the power of prayer and he just knew that God would come and rescue him. So as he’s sitting up on the roof in the rain someone comes along in a boat and asks him to climb in and be rescued. No thank you he says, God is going to rescue me, I’ve prayed to him.

A police helicopter hovers overhead and they throw down a rope to Joe, asking him to grab hold of the rope. But he declines once again saying that he knows God will rescue him. In the end he drowns and as he arrives in heaven he asks why God didn’t rescue him. God’s reply – “who do you think sent the neighbor the boat and the helicopter?”

If you have difficulty receiving then all sorts of opportunities and solutions to your problems can show up but you won’t take advantage of them. One common example that I see frequently is when people are having money difficulties. They want a solution, what they think they need is more money. But then a solution may show up in the form of a book or a workshop that teaches them how to manage their money more effectively or how to change the way they may be doing things to make more of what they already have. They refuse the book or the workshop because they’re just expecting more money to show up without having to do anything for it, certainly without having to pay out money for the solution.

When you send out a message to the Universe that you want something, you will always receive an answer – but you have to release your attachment to HOW it shows up and you have to be open to recognizing the solutions when they do show up in ways you don’t expect. And you have to be willing to receive what shows up. If you cannot receive compliments or assistance when it is offered, or receive when someone offers to buy you a cup of coffee or lunch, or gives you an unexpected gift, then you will not be able to receive the bigger things that you want so badly.

So make a practice of gratefully receiving what is offered to you. If someone offers to help you, accept. If someone pays you a compliment, simply say ‘thank you.’ As simple as this may sound it can be transformational.

There are also some simple Feng Shui techniques that can help you with becoming better at receiving. The first is simply to create an environment that you love – that nurtures and supports you. If you don’t feel this way about your house right now, then start with your bedroom. Turn it into your personal sanctuary, a place that you love.

Another very powerful Feng Shui technique is to identify anything in your home that you don’t need, use, want or love – and remove it. Give it away, sell it, throw it away – whatever you need to do, but remove it from your environment. Remove anything that has negative memories and associations for you. By doing this you are creating the space for what you do want to come to you and you are honoring yourself by removing things that no longer serve you and keep your energy stuck.

Starting today, observe how you receive throughout the day. Even when someone offers you a smile or holds the door open for you – receive it gratefully. Being able to receive the ‘small’ things in life really does help to prepare you to be able to receive the ‘larger’ things.

Linda Binns

Sign up for the 30-Day Wealth Attraction Challenge to attract what you want into your life now.

If that sounds familiar, I would also hazard a guess that you are not where you want to be financially. You’re not making the amount of money that you want to make. You may even be broke. How do I know? Because money cannot come to chaos. People often ask me to work with them and their homes to bring them more money, but here’s the thing – if you cannot manage what you have, why would the Universe provide more?

If you want more money (and who doesn’t) I would recommend that the very first thing you do is organize what you have now – and that includes the paperwork. If you simply round up all receipts and documentation once each year because you have to then it’s likely that you don’t know what your financial picture looks like day-to-day. The only time you really know is after the tax return has been completed. Do you owe money for taxes or are you due for a refund?

You might wonder what this has to do with Feng Shui, but it actually has everything to do with Feng Shui. One of the first principles of Feng Shui is to bring order out of chaos. Where there is chaos, there is stagnant energy. Where there is stagnant energy, there will be stagnation in that part of your life. Why would you want that in any part of your life, let alone around money?

I’m not just talking about personal finances here, this happens with business owners too. If you find it hard to keep your financial records under control, hire a bookkeeper. The time you free up and the energy you free up around your finances will make it more than worthwhile. If you don’t have the time to do it or it is not your area of expertise, you must have someone do it for you.

We need money for many things in our lives. It is an essential part of life. Money, like everything else, is energy and it needs to flow. You may want more but in order to have more you must first honor and appreciate what you already have – even if it’s not enough, it’s something. Part of honoring and appreciating what you have is to keep it organized and to be aware of what’s coming in and what’s going out. It’s very difficult to be wealthy when you have chaos around your finances.

So now that the taxes are done (hopefully they are done), why not take this opportunity to organize your financial documents on a regular basis? Why not keep everything filed away in a system where you can find things and you know exactly where everything is? Why not have everything entered into a program on your computer so that next year when tax time rolls around again, you can simply hand the file to your CPA to prepare your tax return? You’ll save money in the long run because you won’t have to waste time (yours or your CPA’s) in going through a box of documents trying to make sense of everything.
The more you can create order around your finances, the more you keep the energy flowing. When the energy flows, money can flow to you If you want to be wealthy, this is the first step to take. By doing this, you’re not only honoring and appreciating your money – you are honoring and appreciating yourself.

If you’d like the opportunity to attract more wealth into your life, take our 30-Day Wealth Attraction Challenge. It starts May 1st, but there are pre-challenge videos that can help you get started right now.

Whether you want to attract the perfect relationship into your life, transform your current relationship so that it is closer, more intimate and loving, or re-kindle a relationship that you have lost, the same information applies. We need to look first at ourselves, then at what has happened or continues to happen so that we can learn from it. We need to know what we want, set our intention and do the right things to make it happen. So how exactly do we do that?

There were 8 steps that I covered in the tele-seminar, let’s take a look at each of them:

1. Self – in order to have a good, close relationship with someone else, you must first know and be comfortable with yourself. You cannot truly love someone else and someone else cannot truly love you if you don’t love yourself first.

If you don’t currently have a romantic relationship but would like one, you cannot be looking for someone else to ‘complete’ you, or to fill some part of you that you perceive as empty or not perfect. You are whole and perfect just as you are and you must accept yourself as you are – if you don’t, how can somebody else?

If you search for a relationship based on needing something from the other person or feeling that you are not enough, you are immediately giving your power away to someone else. When you do that, the relationship cannot do anything else except ultimately make you unhappy. If you’re wondering why you constantly attract the ‘wrong’ people this is why.

The same thing applies if you already have a relationship but it is not everything you would like it to be. Instead of looking at the other person’s ‘faults’ and identifying everything that’s wrong with them and how they treat you as a reason for the relationship not working – look at yourself. Turn the mirror on to yourself. We teach others how to treat us so if you are not being treated in the way that you would like, what do you need to change about yourself to change the way you are treated?

Looking within and coming to terms with everything we think is not perfect about ourselves and realizing that we are enough just as we are can be a very difficult thing. But it is definitely the first step to creating a loving, healthy relationship with someone else – to have that with yourself first.

2. Learn from the past – what type of relationships have you had in the past? Is there a recurring theme to your relationships? Whatever you find or have found unsatisfactory about your relationships is not something that has happened ‘to you’, it is something that you create. It is something you can learn from. If you attract people who don’t treat you well, it’s because you don’t treat yourself well. Perhaps you feel you don’t deserve love or you have low self esteem and simply give your power away.

Whatever it is you don’t like about past relationships or what is happening now, I encourage you to ask what that situation is there to teach you. How can you learn from it? What do you need to change about you for things to be different? Don’t make it all about the other person – make it about you and what you learn. Understanding these patterns can help you identify the negative beliefs and emotions that have created the relationships you have or have had in your life.

3. Know what you want – you must be clear about what it is that you want in a relationship. How do you want to be treated? What kind of person or relationship are you looking for? Whether you have a relationship or not, you need to be clear on this. If you are in a relationship, what is happening now that you don’t like? What do you want it to look like? How do you want things to be?

You’ll never get what you want if you’re not clear about what that is – it’s time to get clear.

4. Set your intention – Once you know what you want, you can set an intention. I see this as basically ‘claiming’ what you want and what you deserve to have. This is the key to the next step.

5. Know what action to take – once you have set your intention you have to identify what actions to take. Since my specialty is Feng Shui, I focus in this tele-seminar on what you can do in your home to help the energy around your relationships. Working with your home to bring you the relationship you want.

6. Take action – when you have identified what needs to be done (for example, de-cluttering the bedroom, or working with your relationship area) then you need to take the action. Do what you can as soon as you can. Once you have set your intention and identified what to do – do it.

7. Be open – once you have started changing the energy in your home you need now to be open to what comes. It may not always happen in the way that you expect. If you do the steps outlined above and then just sit back and wait for Mr. Right to show up on your doorstep, you may be missing out. What if a friend suddenly invites you to an event that you wouldn’t normally feel like going to? Go. You might meet your ideal mate at that event. Be open to what comes and be open to the fact that it might not always be what you expect.

8. Review – the final step is to constantly review your intention, what you want, and yourself. As you go through this process things will change. You will change. It is important to always stay clear on what you want and just be aware that it can change. Keep track of what happens as you go through this process.

This is an overview of what we covered in the call. The recording is available for Feng Shui Success MasterMind members in the member’s area.

Remember, the key to getting what you want in a relationship is the same as any other area of life – it’s awareness. Awareness of yourself, what’s happening, what you want to happen, what you need to change, and what happens as a result of that change. Be open to what comes, but first be clear about what you want.

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